Tag: wellness and health

15 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

Published on by Lee5 Comments

In the hustle and bustle of your daily grind, work dinners out, trying to balance a mix of reading Healthline and watching Criminal Minds reruns so you can actually sleep, following BeautyLeeBar on Twitter, and barely having time to drink your morning coffee in peace, sex doesn’t always feel like a priority. We don’t know how it happened, how watching one more episode on Netflix became more important than being with our partner under the sheets.

And when you do have sex, yeah, we’ve been there. It’s not nearly as fun as it used to be. But there are so many ways to easily change up your routine and make your sex life even better than it was when you first started. Here’s to having better sex tonight — you’re welcome.

1. Try Kegel exercises

If you’ve never heard of Kegels, you are so missing out. Kegels exercise the pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to more intense orgasms, stronger libido, and overall better sex. Finding your pelvic floor muscles by stopping urination midstream. Right there — those are the muscles we’re targeting! There are many different exercises, but the easiest (and least awkward) is to simply tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold it for five to ten seconds, let it go, and then repeat five times. Do these every day, and in a few weeks, you’ll start to notice all of its amazing benefits.

2. Research and try something new

Do you have fantasies or sexual interests you’ve never discussed before? Now’s your time. Start by researching and deciding if this really is right for you, and then go ahead and ask your partner about it. Here’s how you can talk to your partner about trying something new in the bedroom.

3. Set the mood

There’s something so romantic about a dimly lit room with candles, bed made (even if it’ll be ruined soon!), and soft music playing. It sounds dumb, but it helps our bodies get even more relaxed. I’m going to say this a lot, so just remember: when you’re relaxed and in the moment, sex is bound to be a million times better.

4. Do yoga

Or any workout that makes you feel sexy and relaxed. For me, that’s yoga, but for you, it might be HIIT, running, or pilates. Do something every day that makes you feel good, so you can channel that when you get in the bedroom. Working out can also help you feel more confident about yourself, which in turn will make it easier for you to enjoy sex!

Exercise and physical activity can improve your sex life in many different ways. First of all, exercising increases your body’s levels of sex hormones and endorphins, boosting your mood and sexual drive.

Sex and health are inextricably linked: being healthy will increase your stamina, which is very important for a satisfying sex life. 

Eating foods packed with minerals, amino acids, antioxidants, and nutrients can benefit your overall health and boost your mood, so it’s no wonder that the right foods can raise your libido and improve your sexual performance.

A healthy diet for sex can include:

  • Meat or other protein sources
  • Nuts and seeds
  • Citrus fruits
  • Oysters
  • Salmon
  • Leafy greens
  • Carrots
  • Watermelon
  • Whole grains

Eating meals with your partner can also be healthy for your relationship. Mealtimes can unwind and strengthen bonds, and many couples take these moments to relax together.

Advertisements

5. Update your foreplay

Foreplay is more than just a precursor to sex. It gets your body excited and ready to enjoy this time with your partner. Try something new, such as an oil massage or playing a fun game. You don’t have to be naked to get excited for sex. Sex is just as much of a mental act as it is physical.

6. Implement gratitude

Your sex life can often be a large indicator of what’s going in your relationship. When you’re happy sexually, it’s pretty plausible that your relationship is, too. So, if your sex is suffering, find ways to improve communication and get closer to your partner. The easiest way to do this is to cultivate gratitude. Thank him or her for the little things, like doing the dishes or cooking even the simplest of weeknight dinners.

COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION – This might sound like an obvious tip, but it’s one of the easiest things to forget about. Our daily lives usually involve work, family, friends, and some stressful situations. Many times, we take our communication with our partner for granted.

In a relationship, it’s essential to keep an open communication on all matters, and sex is no exception. Couples who feel comfortable talking to each other will find it easier to discuss issues such as conflicting schedules, lack of privacy, and sexual preferences.

Something as common as stress can cause male sexual health problems, such as low libido and erectile dysfunction. In these cases, communicating with your partner in a respectful manner can help you both identify and solve any underlying issues.

7. Build anticipation

You know the feeling when your partner looks amazing, and you think about him or her all night, so by the time you get home, you are beyond ready? Try doing this on purpose every now and then. Get dressed last, and do your hair and makeup just in your bra and underwear.

8. Get out of the bedroom

The last thing we want in our sex lives is too much routine. The easiest way to break that is just simply getting out of the bedroom. You have an entire house or apartment — make use of it! Whether it’s in the shower (the slippery factor is a little difficult, but we believe in you!), the kitchen, the car (all those high school make-out memories), there’s a lot of options to get it on.

9. Use sex toys with your partner

Sex toys don’t just have to be for solo play! Whether you and your partner browse a store (or website!) together (great bonding time) or you pick something up to surprise him or her, there’s something out there for you both. Adding sex toys in your relationship can be a bit intimidating, but if you’re on the same page and don’t think into too much, it can be a great tool (literally) for getting you and your partner out of a rut.

10. Track your sex life

It’s easy to go a few weeks without even touching your partner if you both live very busy lives. Apps like Nice Sex Tracker and Clue (for period tracking) both have options to keep track in a calendar view of your sex life. If your stats dip, you know to start doing some of the other tricks above to boost them up! You can also totally use your planner or regular iCal for this, but you might want to come up with a code (a fun emoji, perhaps?!) if you’re afraid of other people seeing all the days you’ve had sex.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you need to talk about STDs with your sex partners. Feeling safe is a great booster for sexual desire, and the best way to feel safe during sex is knowing that you’re both healthy and free of STDs.

Don’t be afraid to ask your partner about their sexual history. Regardless of whether you have a steady partner or not, knowing that you’re both tested will give you peace of mind and allow you to enjoy sex fully.

Visit a women’s sexual health clinic to get tested.

11. Get enough sleep

Lack of sleep impacts the libido a lot. I mean, having sex when you’re exhausted doesn’t even sound fun at all. Yes, we want to have fun, but make sure you’re starting at a reasonable time, so you can have even more fun the next night.

12. Get some professional sexual health advice

If you suspect that there are deeper issues keeping you from fully enjoying sex, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor. Many medical conditions can cause a low sex drive or sexual dysfunction, from hormonal disorders to endometriosis.

Certain medications, such as oral contraceptives and antidepressants, can lower your libido. Your doctor will be the best person to help you pinpoint the source of any possible issues and how to fix them.

13. Take vitamins for sexual health

Have you ever thought about taking vitamins for your sexual health?

Different vitamins have different effects on our sex lives. Vitamin C can improve circulation, vitamin D has been shown to increase sex hormone levels, and it improves erectile and sexual dysfunction. 

Other supplements can also help your sex life. Zinc can improve sexual function and increase testosterone levels. The amino acid arginine can improve your blood circulation, which is essential for erections and sexual pleasure. Your doctor could recommend an L-citrulline supplement, which is converted to arginine by your body.

14. Use sexual health products

Many sexual health products can help you have a more enjoyable sex life. Many factors, such as age, stress, and contraceptives, can decrease a woman’s ability to lubricate. This can make sex uncomfortable, but using a lubricant can be an easy fix.

Nowadays, there are many types of lubricants available. If you’re using latex condoms, make sure to stay away from oil-based lubricants, as they can damage the latex and cause ruptures. Incorporating lubricants into your routine can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you.

In many cases, leading a healthy lifestyle, openly communicating with your partner, and taking your sexuality into your own hands can make a huge difference in the way you experience sex and your own body. So get to know yourself, be safe, and enjoy! 

15. Love yourself too

To have satisfying sex, you have to discover what you like in bed. Masturbating, whether you’re single or in a relationship, can be a very effective way to discover how to get aroused. It can also help be a healthy way to feel more comfortable with your body.

Another great way to discover what you like is by watching porn or reading erotic books. This can help you learn about different things you might be interested in; you can do this alone or with a partner, and it can even improve intimacy between you.

We talk a lot about body image, and it’s for a good reason. Feeling good about yourself improves more areas of your life than just your self-esteem, and it’s bound to improve your sex life significantly. Just think about it. If you could be naked with your partner and feel proud of your body, how much weight and stress that would lift off of your shoulders? It’s amazing, and it’s so underrated. If you need a little help getting there, no fear — we got you.

How do you help your sex life when you get stuck in a rut?! Let us know!

These Are the Conversations About Sex You Should Be Having With Your Partner

Published on by Lee6 Comments

From entertainment to advertising, we live in a culture where sex infiltrates many aspects of our lives. Although many of us might feel comfortable discussing the details of our sex lives over a few drinks with friends, sometimes it can be harder to talk about what we want in the bedroom with the person who really needs to know what we’re thinking.

Being able to communicate about physical intimacy is an important part of any relationship, and the only way to ensure that your sex life is satisfying for you both. If you haven’t already, these are the conversations that you need to have with your partner to get the most out of the sexual side of your relationship:

Your sexual history

Speaking of sexual health, this is a tricky but important topic that should always be discussed before having unprotected sex with someone new. Disclosing your STI status, checking that your partner has been tested recently, and clarifying whether either of you are having unprotected sex with anyone else is important steps in protecting your sexual health and making an informed decision about whether you should be using condoms.

What your boundaries are

We all have different limits when it comes to sexual play, and making sure that you and your partner are both comfortable is key to having enjoyable and fulfilling sex. You don’t need to be having 50 Shades-style sex to have conversations about what your boundaries are and what you feel happy doing — this can be a beneficial conversation for any couple, and give you an opportunity to express your likes and dislikes in the bedroom. If you are getting a little more experimental, then set out your expectations beforehand and remember to agree on a safe word.

What your kinks are (and how to explore them)

The things that turn us all on are complicated and immensely varied. It’s impossible to be able to expect your partner to know that you’ve always had a fantasy about firemen or all about your secret foot fetish, so if you want to enact your kinks, then this is a conversation that has to be had. Bringing up our innermost sexual fantasies can be nerve-wracking, so experts suggest introducing this via dirty talk, as part of a game, or by asking your partner about their kinks to ease you into sharing your own, according to Refinery29. Once you’ve shared your interests, then discuss how you can introduce these in a way that you will both enjoy, whether this is via roleplay, watching porn together that involves your kink, or engaging in safe and consensual BDSM.

What makes you orgasm

As much as television and movies would have us believe that the Big O is easy to achieve, most women find that their experience is slightly different. In fact, only 31-62 percent of women report “usually” orgasming during sex. Do something about this by talking to your partner about what positions are most likely to make you orgasm. You could also try masturbating in front of your partner, showing them the techniques that you use to make it happen. As well as demonstrating how to best get you off, you will likely also find that this is a great style of foreplay and that your partner loves seeing you turn yourself on.

Advertisements

How often you like to have sex

Most couples will find that there is at least some mismatch in their sex drives, and being unable to communicate this to each other can lead to massive misunderstandings. If your partner is a physical touch person who experiences love and affection through touch, then they may feel rejected if you’re just not in the mood. Similarly, a partner who connects more via emotional intimacy may feel devalued if they feel that you’re only interested in having sex when they just want to talk about their day. Talk to your partner about how often you like to have sex, how you generally signal that you’re not feeling sexual, and how you signal that you’re interested in initiating physical intimacy.

What contraception you are using (or would like to use)

Because women shoulder most of the burden of pregnancy, contraception in a heterosexual relationship is often seen to be the responsibility of the female partner. However, this doesn’t have to be the case. If you are thinking about changing your choice of contraception, you can easily explore potential options as a couple. How do you both feel about long-term contraception methods, such as an IUD or a vasectomy? If you’re planning on having children in the next couple of years, would something more short-term be a better option? Do you have other sexual partners and would, therefore, feel more comfortable using condoms? Having these conversations with your significant other means that you can reach a decision about your sexual health that benefits you both.

9 of the Easiest Ways to Prioritize Self-Care Today

Published on by Lee5 Comments

You know you’re supposed to be practicing self-care on the regular, but how often do you say no to happy hour because you scheduled alone time after work? Do you feel guilty when you skip a workout because your body needs a break, or get caught up in finishing an episode of Riverdale (and get to bed much later than you know you need to)?

Self-care should never be an afterthought, though a modern lifestyle makes it difficult to prioritize, and makes us feel guilty when we do. However, caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s simply the most important insurance that you show up as your best self for your work, your family, and your loved ones. Therefore, self-care is not really caring for yourself if it doesn’t make you happier, calmer, and less stressed. Just because Instagram posts show face masks and hashtags them with #selfcare, doesn’t mean that’s doing anything for you (unless face masks do make you feel relaxed!). Instead, here are nine easy ways you can fit self-care into your routine today. 

1. Meditate while your coffee brews

Meditation is extremely beneficial for mental health, but it can be hard to stick with a practice. Instead of hoping to schedule extra time in your day (there’s no such thing as “extra time”), fit a few moments into the schedule you already have set. When you start your pot of coffee, spend a couple of minutes meditating while it brews. Notice the smell of coffee, think about the present moment, and simply breathe instead of rushing onto the next step. 

2. Watch your language

Even if words seem common or unimportant (“I look so bad in these jeans!” or “I don’t know if I deserve the promotion”), the way we speak to and about ourselves is how we’re training our brains to see ourselves. Even if you don’t believe it, be confident in your actions and abilities. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend (you would never think your best friend is anything but perfect, gorgeous, invincible, and badass!).

Also, work on replacing “sorry” with “thank you.” Women are taught to be polite by putting themselves down, so start expressing gratitude for patience, kindness, or assistance, rather than apologizing for being an inconvenience. 

3. Turn your shower into an experience

On the days where we’re just hoping to have time to eat three meals, a shower might be the last thing you want to do slowly, but it also might be the one chance you get to prioritize yourself that day. Instead of thinking of a shower as a chore, think of it as a relaxation practice. Turn your shower into a spa-like experience by lighting a scented candle, using the fancy soap you usually save for guests, and drying off with warm, fluffy towels. 

4. Schedule time to “goof off”

Just because you’re crushing the #adulting game by paying your taxes on time and putting together IKEA furniture by yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need “playtime” like you did when you were a kid. Give yourself a few minutes of unstructured activity multiple times throughout the day. Take a break from work to have a five-minute dance party or invest in an adult coloring book to bring out your creative side. No matter what appeals to you the most, channel your inner child to bring yourself more joy and laughter. 

5. Slow down instead of speed up

We always feel like we don’t have time. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done, and we rush through items on a long to-do list every day. We say things like “time flies” and “life goes by in the blink of an eye.” Here’s a little secret for you about time: you can actually get more by choosing to slow down. Rushing through life and thinking about the next item to check off a list instead of focusing on the present not only robs you of experiencing but gives you the illusion that you’ll never have enough time. 

The truth is that we have all the time we need (you do have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé, after all). Instead of gulping down your morning coffee, sit down and enjoy every sip. Instead of stressing about the traffic on your commute, listen to a playlist or podcast you love. It sounds counterintuitive, but slowing down stops you from feeling that time is a limited currency we’ll never have enough of. We don’t need more time; we just need to spend it better. 

6. Practice your hobby

Even if you’re lucky enough to have a dream job that makes you excited to wake up in the mornings, self-care is about finding balance. Make sure you have a passion outside of your 9 to 5 by pursuing a hobby. It could be something you love so much you want to turn it into a side-hustle, like jewelry making or photography, or it could be something you simply enjoy doing (whether or not you’d ever make money from it) like painting or cooking. 

7. Make one small change to your diet

Whether it’s drinking an extra glass of water, adding spinach to your omelet, or replacing your afternoon chips and salsa snack with carrots and guacamole, make one tiny change to your diet. Healthy eating is just a series of habits that form a domino effect. These habits snowball into a healthier lifestyle and better consciousness about what your body needs. Start small today and see how your diet changes over time. 

8. Switch up your routine

Take a different route to work, DIY a matcha latte instead of your usual cup of coffee, or wear red lipstick to work if nude lip balm is your norm. Getting out of the patterns we’re used to helps us be more mindful and present, but can also help you discover things about yourself you didn’t know before (like the fact that red lipstick gives you more confidence to crush that presentation at work). 

9. Choose who you spend your time with wisely

Today, only surround yourself with the people who exude positive energy and enthusiasm. Steer clear of the coworker who brings you down or say no to after-work drinks with the friend who makes you feel bad about yourself. If you can’t choose who you spend your time with (maybe your office is a little too small, or your roommate’s a complainer), work on becoming the person who exudes positive energy and enthusiasm. Express gratitude, give compliments, and smile often. 

How do you prioritize self-care?

Creative Ways To Make The Most Of Staying In

Published on by Lee3 Comments

We’re clearly navigating unprecedented times. It feels like every hour there’s a new update from government officials, we’re collectively in a heightened sense of panic, and it feels impossible to tear ourselves away from our devices. While many of us are going to spend much more time at home in the foreseeable future, that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to pure chaos or neglect our mental and physical health in the process. And stepping up your self-care is a great way to stay positive, and busy.

Here’s the thing: practicing self-care isn’t selfish and it can even be quite simple. Try to reframe this newfound downtime as an opportunity to invest in yourself in ways you haven’t been able to before. It’s a chance to better yourself, to foster deep human connection around you, and honestly to just relish in some R&R. Here are a few things you can do at home to keep your spirits up.

1. Start a Virtual Book Club with Friends

Seeing as how happy hour and brunch dates are off limits for a while, why not get your crew together by way of a virtual book club? Take turns choosing the book (we suggest light choices), then set weekly reading goals followed by a virtual chat date to dish on everything. Ordering books online might get tricky, so stick to either audiobook or e-book options. Amazon has a ton of options and so does Audible. Try to make the virtual date feel special – bring a snack or a glass of wine along and dedicate a full 30 minutes to an hour!

2. Binge a New Podcast Series & Organize

It doesn’t matter how niche you go: there’s basically a podcast for every genre out there. Whether you dig true crime stories, deep dive exposes, reality TV rehashing, beauty gossip, science-y spins, or interviews with influential people, you’re covered. We recommend finding a great podcast and binging your way through the whole thing while you organize or deep clean.

3. Commit to a Daily or Weekly Physical Challenge

There’s joy in sitting around a la fat and sassy lady, but tbh, that can start to get boring after a while. It feels dang good to move your body a bit, so make it a daily/weekly goal to get physical. It can be as simple as doing jumping jacks and crunches in your living room (maybe during commercial breaks?) or some light yoga when you wake up to get the day off to a good start. If you’re feeling unmotivated, let someone else motivate you. Even though Planet Fitness is close until the time being, planet fitness app itself provides free home work-ins daily on Facebook Live and also has app workouts that can be used at home.

Posts You’ll Love:

4. Take up a Meditation Practice

We all need a bit more calm in our worlds rn, and meditation is a great place to start. Meditation can be as simple as mindfully breathing for a few minutes, pressing pause on everything else to listen to a song that brings you joy, or sitting outside and listening to the world around you. If you’re seeking guided meditation, try Headspace or Calm. For a free option, try this YouTube video from Calm. Yoga is another amazing way to focus your mind, so find out our guide to finally giving it a go, if you’re still not a yogi.

5. Start a Gratitude Journal

It can be hard to feel grateful for anything when the world feels like it’s collapsing around you, but writing down even the tiniest things that you’re thankful for can boost your morale. It can also make you appreciate all the good that still exists around you. If you have a physical journal that’s great – the art of putting pen to paper can be therapeutic in and of itself – but a virtual log also works! The idea is that you’re taking five minutes every day to mindfully write down your gratitudes.

6. Schedule Virtual Lunch or Dinner Dates

We’re all going to spend more time apart physically, but human connection still matters. Make the most of your lunch break or dinner time by having virtual dates with friends, partners, or family members. Check in to see how they’re doing, what they’ve got going on with work or life, and to simply connect. If you don’t feel like eating while chatting, simply set aside time to connect with the people important to you. The goal is to connect.

7. Catch Up on Your Netflix “Must Watch” List

This one is pure indulgence, and that’s 100% OK. We’re sure you’ve got a list of your own, but in case you need a few suggestions we recommend All American, Self Made new limited series (inspired by the life of the first female millionaire Madam C Walker who made her fortune by developing a beauty empire for fellow black women), A Fall From Grace, YOU, Cheer (you’ll be the one cheering for these cheerleaders at the end), Elisa & Marcela, In The Tall Grass, Rhythm + Flow, Freedom Writers, The Hunting Of Hill House, Legend Of The White Snake,The Perfection, Forensic Files, Cold Case Files and Thriller.

8. Learn a New Recipe

If there’s ever a time to get creative in the kitchen it’s now. You don’t have to go out and buy a bunch of new stuff, either. Instead, figure out what you have on hand and make something delicious from there. It also doesn’t have to be super extravagant. Maybe you’ll try your hand at making a loaf of bread, a new dessert, or a tasty sauce for your go-to protein. Documenting the process on your Instagram stories can help you feel more connected to the outside world. Get others to join in the fun!

What are some self-care activities will you be doing during this unfortunate time? COMMENT BELOW!