ASK LEE

HOW I PRIORITIZE Friendships

Published on August 4, 2023May 1, 2024 by LeeLeave a comment

When I was writing my monthly top priorities, I realized that I didn’t have space for ‘friends’ on my list. This is something I’ve become aware of towards the end of July. With me starting to do partnerships and collaborations again, school starting back up, and trying to build my TikTok, it wasn’t until I made that list that I realized how little I truly have time for friends right now. Which is okay! Throughout life, there will always be ebbs and flows with your priorities, and while friends were a top priority throughout my early twenties, things have changed. That’s not to say I don’t love and value my friendships because I do. It’s just what I’m able to give my full attention to right now, and honestly, a lot of my friends feel the same.

Whether you’re in a stage where friendships are hard to prioritize OR you’re feeling like you want to prioritize them more, here are my thoughts.

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Quality over quantity

I’ve always been someone with a small circle of friends. I’d much rather have a tight-knit crew of people vs. being acquaintances with everyone – it’s always been quality over quantity for me. This works best for my personality and for maintaining relationships since I know that even if I go a while without talking to a friend, the relationships are strong enough to last.

I know it might feel like you need to be friends with everyone, especially in your 20s, but you don’t. If you feel stressed about keeping up with too many people, think about the friends that make you feel the best. Who does it feel natural with? Forced? Positive or negative? Who can you sit with 1:1 on the couch without an agenda? Who do you trust? Who do you feel like you’re performing for?

Make people feel special in your way

People that don’t know me well are always surprised to find out that I’m a thoughtful person. I know I have a hard exterior and an IDGAF attitude but I’ll always make time to send a friend something for her birthday or when they’re pregnant or whatever. Even if I don’t talk to that person daily or haven’t seen them in a year, it’s my way of letting them know I’m thinking about them.

I’m not saying you need to buy your friends gifts to prioritize them, but those thoughtful acts come naturally to me, so I act on them. Just like we have those friends who are amazing at checking in or planning things, I’m the friend to buy you a cute birthday present LOL. Find the love language that you like to give and then shower your friends with it.

Schedule in-person time

I’m the worst at texting. I honestly hate it – same with phone calls. It’s not personal, and luckily my friends know this about me, but it comes down to the fact that I’d always rather hang out with someone in person vs. catch up over the phone. I’m much more present and a better friend when I have quality time with friends in person so I try to make that happen when possible. This is harder with friends who live far away but scheduling girl trips once a year or even meeting a friend for lunch keeps the friendship going for me.

Be there for the important things

In this stage of life, I might not be able to make every get-together or whatever, but I’m always there for the important things.

Don’t stress if you don’t see your friends for every celebration but don’t miss the important things. You’ll know what those are. It is different for everyone.

Be honest

Another reason I have fewer friends is that I can be honest with them and vice versa. I’d always rather have someone say ‘Hey, I love you but I’m super busy right now with work and I can’t make it’ vs. stringing me along with bullsh*t excuses.

Be real with people and if they’re your true friends, they’ll understand.

Are you in a friend’s stage of life? If not, how do you still prioritize them?

“I Lost My Orgasm. HOW DO I GET IT BACK?”

Published on July 22, 2023May 1, 2024 by LeeLeave a comment

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous.

Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we answer them with the help of an expert. The topic of our latest submission: lost orgasms.

Ever gone through a time where, no matter what you do, you just can’t climax? Like, even the things that normally get you off just…don’t send you over the edge?

We tapped global sexologist and mentor Juliette Allen to share tips on how to find your O again.

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1. IS IT COMMON TO GO THROUGH PERIODS WHERE YOU CAN’T REACH ORGASM?

“Yes, it’s very common. We all go through ups and downs in life, and these different seasons in life can have a huge impact on our orgasmic potential. It’s normal for these periods to happen in life. Don’t stress too much, as that will only make the situation worse.”

2. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

“Some of the common life changes that impact orgasm are increased stress, job change, breakup, pregnancy, parenting, any kind of trauma, sickness, disease, death of a loved one—the list goes on. As life ebbs and flows, so does the orgasmic energy in our body, not to mention our libido.

“The state of a relationship also has a huge impact on orgasm—lack of communication, verbal and physical abuse, manipulative behavior, stress, mismatched libido, parenting together. If our relationship isn’t thriving as a whole, our ability to orgasm can plummet. It’s like our body intentionally decommissions our libido and ability to enjoy pleasure when our energy is taken up trying to fix or process relationship challenges.”

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3. CAN YOU SHARE SOME ADVICE?

“First, take time to look at your stress levels, and then take positive steps toward more ease and rest in everyday life. Take a good hard look at your romantic relationship and make the necessary changes to initiate more harmony and love. And then lastly, be kind and patient with yourself. Your ability to orgasm WILL return, I promise! It just may take some time and acceptance of where you’re at right now in life.

Ask Lee Anything: Beauty Edition

Published on April 26, 2023May 1, 2024 by Lee1 Comment

I’ve had so much fun answering your questions in my Ask Me Anything series, so today I’m focusing on your beauty-related questions sourced straight from our @BeautyLeeBar Instagram Stories. From the best face oils to my favorite haircare products, here are a few tidbits you may or may not know about me…

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1. What is your favorite serum or oil?

Hands down OLEHENRIKSEN Banana Bright 15% Vitamin C Dark Spot Serum and Tarte Maracuja Oil. The serum and the facial oil make my skin look brighter, radiant, glowy, and smoother. I always apply the two in the morning and at night.

2. What’s your favorite face sunscreen?

I like Fenty Skin Hydra Vizor Refillable Invisible Face Moisturizer SPF 30 with Niacinamide and Shiseido Clear Sunscreen Stick SPF 50+. It layers well with my skin products and makeup. I like that it doesn’t feel greasy on my skin and that the sunscreens don’t leave my face with white streaks.

3. What shampoo and conditioner hair products do you use to keep it healthy?

I like TPH By Taraji Shampoo and Conditioner with Camille Rose Sweet Ginger Cleansing Rinse. It keeps my hair soft, clean, and hydrated. My hair is so easy to untangle with these products.

4. Eyebrow tips for light brows?

Besides using a brow pencil or gel, you might want to consider Microshading. For something less of a commitment, try LAMINATION.

5. Do you prefer a side part or a middle part?

Though I may be a millennial, I most often part my hair in the middle. Unless I am going for vintage-inspired styles, I find it flatters my face more than a side part.

6. Any suggestions for any retinol-free anti-aging products?

If you’re not a huge fan of retinol, you can try products with bakuchiol, a plant-based alternative to retinol that has similar effects. Make sure to do your research before trying any new ingredients, however.

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7. Do you use the same products and the same routine in the AM and PM?

In the morning, I always wear sunscreen, and at nighttime, I try to incorporate more serums and oils, along with a thicker moisturizer to hydrate my skin overnight.

8. What recommendations do you have for really dry skin?

I’d say to include more hyaluronic acid into your routine. It’s great for hydrating the skin.

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9. What’s your favorite lip gloss?

It is not a lip gloss more like a lip oil but it’s Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez Soft Pinch Tinted Lip Oil and Fenty Skin Cherry Treat Conditioning + Strengthening Lip Oil. I do have the Fenty Beauty by Rihanna Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer in my purse as well but right now the lip oils are giving for me.

This lip gloss/lip oil is my favorite and is always in my purse no matter where I go. I love it because it has a gorgeous shade that looks so flattering and pretty on the lips, especially on black women.

10. Do you wear natural deodorant? If so, do you have a favorite brand?

I do wear natural deodorant, and my favorite brand is Lavanila Aluminum-Free Natural Deodorant. It comes in a nice Vanilla Lavender scent that I always carry in my purse to re-apply when necessary.

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What other beauty questions do you have for me?

Let me know in the comments below.

WATCH: How to Clean up Your Eyebrows at Home When You Can’t Go to the Salon

Published on May 1, 2022May 1, 2024 by Lee2 Comments

Even though salons are opened back up, a lot of us are busy with work, school, and home life so paying someone to get our brows together isn’t the focus for right now. But that doesn’t mean we want to walk around looking like a beast. So, we at BeautyLeeBar decided to handle things on our own and look for how to clean up eyebrows at home without going to the beauty salon.

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We did a lot of research before we found some YouTube videos that were a winner for us. The beauty influencers demonstrate an easy step-by-step tutorial showing how to clean up your eyebrows at home easily. We couldn’t just keep this to ourselves so here’s what we learned…

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How to clean up eyebrows at home:

You will need:

Facial touch-up razor (available in pharmacies, Walmart, Amazon, etc)
Tweezers
Slanted eyebrow pencil (optional)
Eyebrow brush or spoolie
A pair of scissors
Water spray

Steps:

1. It’s best to clean the area before you start tweezing, so wash your face first.

2. Brush your eyebrows upwards really well, until you start seeing your longer hairs.

3. If you don’t want your hair to be too long and you don’t like the bushy and messy look, use the scissors to trim the longer hairs you want to shorten, but do it very carefully.

Beauty Note: Avoid trimming your eyebrow at the tail, just the center, and front.

4. Use an eyebrow pencil to fill in any sparse areas. This is so you can determine your eyebrow shape and know the spots that shouldn’t approach when plucking your eyebrows.

5. Now brush the eyebrows again, but naturally this time.

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6. Use the tweezers to remove any stray hairs that are far away from your brows and the area you defined.

7. Pull the skin, above your brow, upwards using your fingers. Very gently and carefully, trace the razor downwards to clean up any extra hairs or peach fuzz around your brows.

8. Seal your work with eyebrow gel to keep everything in place.

Primp Tip: Don’t forget to think about your brow’s natural shape, so you don’t try to tweeze it into something new entirely. This is not brow art, its brow shaping! Be cautious, careful, and restrained. Just clean up the bare minimums on the bottoms, where you see stray hairs.

What that means in practice: Take your tweezers and tweeze stray hairs beneath the brow. Make sure you’re pulling hair in the direction that it’s growing in. You want to take it out the way it comes in, or you can end up getting ingrown hairs.

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Primp Tip: Once it’s done, lightly moisturize the brow area to calm the inflamed skin and rehydrate. Try a gentle facial oil like Josie Maran Mini 100 percent Pure Argan Oil, Tatcha GOLD CAMELLIA BEAUTY OIL Nourishing 23k Gold Oil, or a water-based moisturizer like Tatcha THE SILK CREAM Firming Hydration.

Be careful: Make sure you sterilize all these beauty tools before and after using them.

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