Tag: tips and tricks

SELF-LOVE: How to Increase It

Published on by Lee2 Comments

Since time immemorial, poets, gurus, and philosophers have toiled to define the most potent and indispensable word in the human language—LOVE. Some have heralded it as the force that makes the world go ’round. Others have described it in terms of the pain it can cause when it’s not returned. It’s been used to denote the feeling a parent has for their child and that a lover has for their beloved. In truth, we hear about love all the time but don’t discuss as often as we should how important SELF-LOVE is—and more importantly, how it is the foundation for a healthy life, full of self-compassion. When we can establish habits, practices, and routines of self-love, we will find ourselves to be more authentic and honest, we will tend to enforce healthy boundaries in relationships, and we will be more grateful and compassionate.

PRACTICE SELF-CARE

To begin the journey of self-love, begin by implementing healthy routines for yourself. Be consistent! Go to bed at a decent hour and get six to eight hours of sleep every night. Establish a physical commitment, like walking 30 minutes a day, signing up for a workout class three days a week, or stretching and practicing breathwork when you wake up. Go grocery shopping and make healthy food choices every Sunday for the week ahead!

Create a routine that works for you and that you will be proud of. And when your head hits the pillow every night, congratulate yourself on how you honored yourself that day, that week, and that month, and see how much better you feel.

LEARNING COMPASSION THROUGH AFFIRMATIONS

One of the best methods for silencing the negative voices in our heads is to work with affirmations, especially guided meditations that can be listened to aloud. The gentle words of a healer can land deeply within our consciousness and replace the voices of those who damaged us. Over time, we can’t help but believe the new messages we are absorbing. There are many free apps on our phones. Or go online and Google “guided meditations”—YouTube has tons, and there is plenty of literature out there you can use too!

Looking into the mirror and reciting affirmations is likewise highly effective. Making eye contact with yourself and expressing love, appreciation, and respect may strike some as corny or over the top, but if that is your reaction, perhaps it’s time to give it a try. People who love themselves unconditionally can express self-love without making a joke out of it.

TRY:
– You are strong and capable.
– You are a lovable person.
– You deserve self-care and self-respect.
– You are beautiful inside and out.
I have lists of affirmations plus more information on self-love, self-compassion, and how to create healthy habits in my book, The Rewired Life.

Another extremely useful exercise I developed to help clients is called the Compliment Log. It’s a small journal you carry with you to record every nice thing that others say about you or you catch yourself saying to yourself. Being smiled at, invited out, hugged, or otherwise included/embraced also counts. If you do this consistently, you will be amazed by the changes in your perception. Suddenly, you may find the world full of benevolence rather than hostility. You will begin to accept your own wonderfulness and own it, no longer able to deny the evidence before you, all of which is attesting to your true value.

Erica Spiegelman is a wellness specialist, recovery counselor, and author of the new book The Rewired Life (2018) as well as Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction & Recovery(2015), the Rewired Workbook (2017), the Rewired Coloring Book (2017), all published by Hatherleigh Press. Erica holds a bachelor’s degree in literature from the University of Arizona and is a California State Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor (CADAC)-II from UCLA. For more information, visit Erica’s website or follow @espiegelman on Instagram.

Ways to Make Your LIPS LOOK FULLER (NATURALLY)

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Societal standards of beauty are ever-changing and have come a long, interesting way from the ideals of ghostly white powdered skin, strong Roman noses, and tiny, pinched pouts of ladies painted with love and lust in Renaissance imagery. The past several decades have shifted toward ample lips that practically beg to be kissed.

We tend to think of beauty as an ownable entity, and that everyone’s unique look is what makes the beauty spectrum subjective and exciting. Besides, confidence outshines and outlasts any societal beauty expectations, so we say start there. The root of feeling confident starts with a healthy dose of self-love, and your lips’ fullness potential comes from a little TLC—so treat your kisser to a little extra care.

Exfoliate.

A dry, pale, shriveled lip is no canvas for lip color, nor exactly a beckoning call for a smooch. Exfoliation will rid your lips of any dry, scaly flakes and bring circulation to the area. This extra blood flow naturally fills a few cracks for an instant plump, and brings a flushed and rosy tint to your natural lips for a little color on their own. A lip scrub is perfect for the task, and most of them on the market are sugar-based, so if a little gets in your mouth (and it will), it’s perfectly safe and probably a little sweet. Try our DIY lip scrub recipe here.

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Strategically line.

And, never forget a plump pout’s best friend, lip liner. Not only does this help keep your lip color contained in the right perimeters (aka not bleed out for a Joker-style grin), but it also lends you a little creativity about where you want to define your lip line. We definitely suggest that subtlety is key here—going too far outside your lips toes the line of drag or even clown makeup. Both of which have their time and place, though it might not be at your office job or out on a casual date.

A very impactful difference can be made by penciling in just barely outside your lip line, mostly at the center edges of your lip and coming in closer to your true, natural lip at the corners of your mouth. Exaggerating just the cupid’s bow can make a world of change in the shape of your final look. It’s doll-like with reds, deep pinks, and berry hues, or sultry with a spectrum of nude shades.

Add a gloss.

The same way that exfoliation smooths things out, a gloss will help your lips reflect light for a larger look, too. If glossy isn’t really your thing, try just applying it to the center of your lips, so the shine is contained but creates a serious highlight.

Subtle contour.

A little bit of bronzer at the bottom part of your lower lip—right where a natural shadow occurs—can help. Use an eyeshadow brush to create a thin line just at the center point beneath your lower lip to exaggerate the shadow and make your lip appear more voluminous.

Try a stimulating balm.

If you prefer to go completely natural and want your full plump potential sans lip color or makeup, a stimulating ingredient in a balm or lip oil can help bring that coveted circulation back to your lips for easy reapplication all day. Peppermint and cinnamon are both incredibly stimulating—you can even feel the tingle. Look for products that already have them in the formula, or simply add a drop of the essential oil to your favorite lip balm. If you’re not sure of any sensitivities you may have to either oil, test on a small patch of skin on your arm, first.

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Winter Haircare Tips

Published on by Lee4 Comments


The winter season is upon us and we all know the cold can be bitter sweet. The winter months can attribute to dryness  can be hard on our hair. Black hair care techniques should change throughout the year, especially during the winter, thanks to the cooler temperatures and drier air.

Winter weather can wreak havoc on black hair if no extra care is taken, since excessive dryness leads to hair breakage and a dry scalp. The key to winterizing your hair care regimen is switching to a routine that causes very little stress on your hair throughout winter while preserving moisture. So how do you do this?

01. Wear A Hat:

Protect your hair from the harsh weather changes, by wearing a hat when outside. Wearing a hat covers your delicate strands from harsh winds which could lead to dryness. No one wants dry stiff hair.  I know many of us hate wearing hats, but what’s worse, not being fashion forward, of suffering from dry hair? I’ll say the last option.

Do not go outside with wet hair. Not only can you get sick, but this bad habit can also cause breakage. Depending on where you live and how cold it gets, your hair could even freeze.

Keep your hair wrapped and protected at night. Try wearing a satin bonnet or a scarf to prevent hair from drying while you sleep.

Wear protective styles (i.e. buns, braids, cornrows, etc). If you’re going to wear your hair in a bun, try to avoid pulling your hair, thus adding stress to your hairline. Wearing protective styles help preserve your hair throughout the winter.

Tame flyaways. Dry air can cause static, making even well-moisturized hair unruly. Carry a few unscented anti-static dryer sheets. Pass one over the top your head to immediately calm flyaways.

Wear a hat or a scarf. Wearing some sort of hat or scarf that’s loose enough to allow scalp circulation will protect your hair against cold winds.

Note that some materials, such as wool, tend to be more harmful to Black hair, but since you really shouldn’t venture out into the cold without head protection, try to wear a hat that has a satin lining – or create your own lining.

02. Deep Condition:

Deep Conditioning is one of the most crucial steps in having healthy hair in general. It doesn’t have to be the winter time, however winter is when hair is the driest especially if you live in a cold climate. If you don’t have enough time to leave your conditioner in sit in your hair for 30 minutes, consider using the one minute hair mask treatment from Garnier that I reviewed earlier this week.  I’d also recommend adding an oil, (I love olive oil) to your conditioner for an extra dose of moisture.

Shampoo your hair once a week. Remember that it’s not necessary to shampoo your hair every day, since washing Black hair too often can strip it of much needed natural oils, especially in during winter months, when the hair and scalp are already drier than usual.

Also, remember to use cooler water when wetting your your hair, and to be extra-gentle with wet locks. Try spraying your hair with a leave-in conditioner, using a wide-tooth comb, and blotting with a soft towel (as opposed to vigorously rubbing it, which can lead to even more breakage).

03. Don’t Be Afraid Of A Trim:

I hate getting my hair trimmed, however, it’s so necessary. Removing dead ends helps promote healthy hair growth. I have to tell myself a million times, it’s better to lose some hair to a trim than all hair to split ends; maybe that statement is a bit extreme, but nothing is worse than having long hair that is damaged from root to tip.

04. Minimize The Heat

The quickest way to cause breakage is by using excessive heat. Minimize the use of heating tools to prevent breakage.

Prepare Your Hair. If you decide to use a heating tool, use a hair product to protect your hair from heat. In addition, you can also use a leave-in conditioner accompanied by a heat protecting hair serum to replenish moisture.

Air Dry. Try letting your hair air dry instead of using a blow dryer.

Limit Combing. If you choose to comb your hair while it’s dry, try finger combing instead of using a comb. This will reduce breakage. If you do use a comb, be sure to use a wide tooth shower comb.

Use A Cooler Setting. When using a blow dryer, try using a cooler temperature setting. Your hair may take longer to dry, but it will minimize heat damage.

05. Add An Oil:

Oils are a the best hair care gift the earth could give us. I know I mentioned this above, however if you have dry ends (especially for the curly girls) you can coat the ends in a bit of oil to moisturize the hair without rinsing it out. What most don’t realize is, the ends are the oldest part of the hair and need more attention than the hair towards the scalp. Three great oils that are great for moisturizing the hair (from experience) are:

  1. Argan Oil
  2. Coconut Oil
  3. Olive Oil

To combat winter dryness, this is a crucial step. Moisturizing is extremely important during winter. Also, deep conditioners and hot oil treatments help restore and replenish moisture to your hair.

Use a moisturizer daily or leave-in conditioner. A leave in conditioner can do great things for dry and brittle hair.

Try to use leave-in conditioners with natural ingredients. Some ingredients such as sodium laurel sulfate, mineral oil, and petrolatum cause more dryness, so avoid using products with these ingredients.

Pamper your hair naturally at least once a week. Natural, intensive moisturizers like aloe, shea butter, jojoba or avocado oils can hydrate and revitalize the driest hair.

Deep condition. If your hair becomes persistently dry during the winter, use a deep conditioner or a hot oil treatment.

These products tend to be ultra moisturizing and great for black hair (you can even use a homemade deep conditioner with mayo or avocado). Hot oil treatments are great for replenishing moisture, as well. You can use a variety of different oils for great results, but the best oil to use is jojoba oil, because it is considered to be most like the natural hair oil, called sebum, which is produced from the sebaceous glands in the scalp. Ask your stylist for suggestions regarding the particular products you should use.

06. Eat Right & Consider Vitamins:

The strength of your hair is not only determined by what you put directly on it, but what you put into your body. Simply drink more water and add more fruits and vegetables and you are bound to see improvements in the overall appearance of your hair. If you want to amp it up a bit, consider biotin. Biotin, often known as the “beauty vitamin” can help grow strong hair, promote nail growth and help heal problematic skin.

Retain Moisture. The most important key to combating dryness during the winter is to protect your hair by retaining moisture. Add water to your diet and regimen by drinking at least 8 glasses of water and day and enjoying water-rich fruits and vegetables, such as tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries and peaches.

Following these simple winter black hair care steps during winter will help prevent some of the winter damage and breakage.

What winter hair care tips do you have?

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Hype or Not: Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay Review

Published on by Lee9 Comments

While there are hundreds (if not thousands) of face masks options available, you’d be hard pressed to find one that boasts more five-star reviews and celeb love than the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay Mask. Amazon customers are practically writing novels about how it has transformed their skin, sharing astonishing Aztec Clay Mask before-and-after photos.

Since going viral a few years ago, the mask has racked up over 13,000 positive reviews from Amazon shoppers who have referred to is as the “holy grail of face masks” for acne—and it makes sense because it’s made with 100 percent bentonite clay, which helps to draw out the skin’s impurities. Unlike most face masks—which come ready to apply—you’ll have to whip up your own concoction using equal parts Aztec Indian Healing clay and apple cider vinegar or water. Yes, it’s a little extra work, but reviewers and stars alike agree it’s totally worth the time because it leaves their pores feeling so refreshed.

WHAT IS IT: AZTEC SECRET INDIAN HEALING CLAY is natural Calcium Bentonite Clay from Death Valley, California, where it is sun- dried for up to six months in temperatures that sometimes reach 134 degrees. The unique structure of the molecules in Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay carry a negative electron charge. This comes from the valance electron count from the specific minerals found in Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay. This Indian Healing Clay lifts the pimple and blackheads into the clay bed to cause accelerated healing and nourishment to the skin with over 50 minerals.

  1. 100% NATURAL
  2. Deep pore cleaning with 100% natural calcium Bentonite Clay
  3. Does not contain: additives, fragrances or animal products
  4. Use for acne and blemishes. Use it once per week

HOW TO USE: After mixing with vinegar, apply the smooth, paste-like substance to the skin using your fingertips or, as reviewers recommend, with a silicone brush applicator, and allow it to dry for up to 20 minutes. (Note: Dry time can vary depending on your skin’s sensitivity.) As it dries, you’ll feel a pulling and tightening sensation, which is just the deep pore cleansing in action. The mask is so powerful that many customers recommend only using it once a week and moisturizing right after, as it’ll leave your skin feeling a tad on the dry side.

WARNING: Please note that when you rinse off the mask your face may be red and this is normal with this clay mask. This redness will be gone within 20 to 30 minutes.

PRIMP TIP: It’s easy to customize this clay mask depending on your skin’s mood. If you want a shot of moisture, add a teaspoon of raw honey to your mixture. For a more soothing formula, add some Aloe Vera gel, and if blemishes are an issue, a few drops of Tea Tree Oil will do the trick. Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is as powerful as it is versatile.

“This product is AMAZING. It’s an official Holy Grail product of mine,” another reviewer wrote. “I ideally use it once-a-week, and it feels as if angels themselves have taken the time, to delicately renew my skin with the magical touch of their wings.”

Dramatic, yes, but the mask is so popular, it even has a long list of celeb fans, including Kourtney Kardashian—the latest A-list to chime in on her love for it. In a recent post on her website, Poosh, she shared that the Aztec clay mask is one of three products she rotates in her “self-care Sunday masking routine.” As it turns out, her sister Khloé Kardashian is also a huge fan, along with Mindy Kaling and Lili Reinhart.

In 2015, Kaling shared a photo on Instagram wearing the Aztec mask that she mixed with Bragg’s organic raw apple cider vinegar (also available on Amazon).

PRIMP TIP: I learned from some people that you should spray a hydrating facial mist on your face while the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is on your face. That way it will be kept moist and easier to remove and the clay will not take moisture off from your skin. It’s the same logic with sheet masks.

MY EXPERIENCE: This pulsating sensation is pretty intense as the clay mask is working hard to rid your skin of all the dirt and grime. You will feel some tugging! After the recommended 20 minutes, the clay concoction hardens and makes your face feel a little tight. That’s your cue to wash it all off. I was left with slightly reddish skin, but this dissipated after five to ten minutes. I looked in the mirror, and an unbelievably squeaky clean face greeted me. “Is this really MY skin?” I marveled.

That’s not all. After prolonged use, you will find that your skin is no longer as prone to breakouts. And there’s still so much clay left in the tub!

This clay mask is truly no joke. It leaves a wonderful sensation on your skin but more than that, it is healing. It heals by getting rid of all the grit and sebum that causes breakouts. With a great price to boot, great reviews by thousands of users and some pampering time on offer, you can’t go  wrong with this one.

*This product may or may not help you. If the pimple persists, you may need to know the type of pimple you have or better, consult a doctor.

Did you try the Aztec Secrets Indian Healing Clay Mask – the world’s most powerful facial!? Lemme know about your experience….