Tag: self-soothing

HAPPY PEOPLE Do These 10 Things Differently

Published on by Lee1 Comment

It’s more than normal to have some “happier” days than others, especially given everything going on in 2020. To help create big positive energy in everyday life, we’re taking a look at the habits genuinely happy people typically have in common. With the help of these practices and our simple self-care hacks, here’s to the power of self-soothing tips to get us through hectic times and land on the happier side. Learn the 10 things that happy people do differently below.

1. Happy people practice gratitude.

Having an attitude of gratitude is one of the most popular habits among the happy because it works. When you’re constantly noticing all the blessings and awesomeness in your life, it is physically impossible to be unhappy. Seeing the world through thankful eyes skews your perception toward positivity. 

What you can do today:

Keep a gratitude journal. I did this when I changed my life, and it seriously made all the difference.

2. Happy people put themselves first.

Happy people always put themselves first, so that they can take care of others second. I am talking about self-care. Putting your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health first is a must. Being balanced and feeling good about yourself and your life helps. Because when you’re happy, you have so much more to give.

What you can do today:

Do something nice for yourself today. Take care of your own needs.

3. Happy people give.

The fact of the matter is, giving makes us happy. As much as we think (and are taught) that obtaining more is the solution, it’s not. Studies have also shown that people who volunteer have shown better mental health, well-being, and even longevity. You can give your time, your love, and your presence, even if you can’t give money.

What you can do today:

Find a cause that you care about and learn how to get involved or support it.

4. Happy people stay inspired and have fun.

Happy people make it a point to have fun on a regular basis and do things that help them grow and learn. To them, having fun is not a lost ar—it’s part of the daily happiness upkeep. It’s important to experience and see new things, since it helps us stay inspired and excited.

What you can do today:

Do something thrilling today. Try a new activity, have a picnic, go on a day trip somewhere cool, or visit the zoo (animals always inspire).

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5. Happy people stay present.

Happy people do their best to stay present as much of the time as possible. Think about it: if you’re living in the future, you’re probably anxious, and if you’re living in the past, you’re probably depressed. Which leaves the present as the one and only moment any of us really need to pay any attention to. That’s why happy people practice mindfulness, the art of staying present.

What you can do today:

Take a meditation or yoga class.

6. Happy people develop healthy coping strategies. 

Happy people encounter stressful life adversities, but they have developed successful coping strategies. Learning how to seek lessons after a challenging event gives people a renewed appreciation for life, the ability to recognize new paths for themselves, enhanced personal strength, and improved relationships with others. Happy people become skilled at seeing the good that might come from challenging times.

What you can do today:

Try reframing.

7. Happy people focus on health. 

Happy people take care of their mind and body and manage their stress. Focusing on health, though, doesn’t just mean exercising. Happy people actually act like happy people. They smile, are engaged, and bring an optimal level of energy and enthusiasm to what they do.

What you can do today:

Take a walk, run, bike ride, or read a book.

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8. Happy people cultivate emotional awareness.

There is a growing body of science suggesting that emotionally aware people are happier, healthier, and recover more quickly from traumatic events because they understand what they are feeling. 

What you can do today:

Journal your highs and lows every day.

9. Happy people don’t dwell on problems. 

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. By fixating on your problems, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinder performance. Focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances. 

What you can do today:

Reframe any situation with a positive ending.

10. Happy people finish what they start.  

Coming up with a great idea means absolutely nothing if you don’t execute on that idea. The most successful and happy people bring their ideas to fruition. 

What you can do today:

Create a step-by-step plan for your goals.

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14 Affirmations To Say To Yourself When You Feel Like Giving Up

Published on by Lee4 Comments

Speak life over yourself with these positive affirmations.

We are currently eight months in 2020 and as we prepare to enter this new season, I know you are present with your pen and paper writing out your list on what you’ve accomplished so far and what you still need to check off. Most of us were full steam ahead with our resolutions until Miss Rona knocked on our doors with a “hey, sis.” As such, we are still adjusting to what the “new normal” looks like for us.

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Some of us have used this downtime to revamp while others like me are biting nails as we watch the growing numbers of positive cases on CNN, and look around whenever we hear someone cough—dealing with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Intermingled with that worry, many of us are having concerns with balancing the home and work life as our regular routines shattered with challenges with creating new habits. At any rate, our lives were shaken up, to say the least, and 2020 feels like the year that delivers blow after blow after blow. When met with anxiety and overwhelm, loss, uncertainty, worry, and financial stress, it can be easy to feel like giving up.

To help combat those inevitable low moments, something that could prove to be beneficial is speaking life over yourself through affirmations. Below are 14 positive affirmations to use when you feel like giving up.

I will be present in every moment.

Focus on the task at hand. Sometimes we get excited about completing a goal that we don’t enjoy the journey. When you feel overwhelmed or have negative self-talk, being present in the moment can shift your focus on what’s in front of you.

I have the power to change my story.

That’s the beauty of your life. It is yours, and you have the power to do whatever you want with it. That is the ultimate power and freedom. You can change your story within seconds. Realize that power and use it for good.

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Everything I’m looking for I can find within me.

Have you ever asked your friend for advice but you already know what to do? Were you looking for confirmation? Ignoring outside opinions in lieu of trusting your gut and instincts, you will increase your self-confidence in knowing what you need to do and what it takes to get it done.

I love myself enough to push through.

Sometimes the most difficult tasks and decisions will test you and require you to dig a little deeper, stay up a little longer, or even get in one more squat for your summer body. It all boils down to the love and commitment you’re willing to give to yourself.

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Great things never come from my comfort zone.

It’s time to say no to things that don’t serve you and start saying yes to something that can elevate you. Nothing is wrong with being playing it safe. However, to grow, you must push past being passive in reaching your goals and start being active. Coming out of our comfort zones reveals a side of us that we didn’t know existed. Let’s be honest, “old ways won’t open new doors.”

Something amazing is about to happen to me.

You probably can’t see it, touch it, taste it, or feel it, but you are so close. To reach any goal, you have to fake it until you make it. Saying it fifty times a day will give you all the confidence to embrace all the good that will happen in our life.

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I thoroughly let go and trust in divine timing.

Things happen when they’re supposed to happen, and not when you’re ready for them to arrive. While attending to your goals, you are building your character along the way. Letting go and trusting the process will alleviate any anxiety and stress you may be feeling during this time. The point is that you have to keep going. When the time does arrive, you can and will appreciate it more.

I accomplish anything I focus on.

It’s easy to get distracted during these current times. If we focus long and hard enough, we can get things done, whether it takes hours, days, or years. Setting time aside, meditating, and praying will impact your focus and motivation to complete your goals.

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I choose prosperity over failure.

Don’t allow Miss Rona to step on your toes and get in your way. You’ve come too far. Put those Pinterest boards to good use and hit the ground running. You can’t fail, and you aren’t giving yourself room to fail. You’ve come too far to give up now.

I release all negativity.

Are your thoughts motivating you or intimidating you to throw in the towel? What is popping up on your timeline? Sometimes to complete the tasks we deem necessary, we have to let go of something until the mission is complete temporarily.

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I am always headed in the right direction.

When diving into something new, you will often second-guess yourself or jump in the pool of self-sabotage. But, everything you’ve worked for so far is leading you in the direction of your goals. The journey wasn’t perfect; it may not have looked like your peers’ journeys, but you are on the path to success as long as you know that you were forever in the right direction.

I honor my commitments and promises.

You’ve spent weeks and months conjuring up the plan to put things in motion to complete your goals finally. You’ve already made the verbal agreement with yourself. To keep your promises to yourself, you’ve signed your name on the dotted line and are committed to this journey.

I am running a marathon at my own pace and aim at the finish line.

Before you compare and contrast your journey with your peers, it is essential to recognize what sacrifices you’re willing to make, to dig deep and to figure out what your goals indeed are. Other people’s success can be discouraging and make you question your path. If you focus on the task at hand, the finish line can become apparent and more tangible. You are a winner for even trying, getting started, and executing.

I have the power to overcome hardships.

Let’s face it. You’ll endure more lows than highs during this time. The small wins and victories also come with epic fails and humps to get over. It would help if you reminded yourself that you would prevail. You will overcome this. You will win.

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Thanks for reading! Hopefully these tips help. If you know any other self positive affirmation, comment them below. We love to hear from you guys.

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9 of the Easiest Ways to Prioritize Self-Care Today

Published on by Lee5 Comments

You know you’re supposed to be practicing self-care on the regular, but how often do you say no to happy hour because you scheduled alone time after work? Do you feel guilty when you skip a workout because your body needs a break, or get caught up in finishing an episode of Riverdale (and get to bed much later than you know you need to)?

Self-care should never be an afterthought, though a modern lifestyle makes it difficult to prioritize, and makes us feel guilty when we do. However, caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s simply the most important insurance that you show up as your best self for your work, your family, and your loved ones. Therefore, self-care is not really caring for yourself if it doesn’t make you happier, calmer, and less stressed. Just because Instagram posts show face masks and hashtags them with #selfcare, doesn’t mean that’s doing anything for you (unless face masks do make you feel relaxed!). Instead, here are nine easy ways you can fit self-care into your routine today. 

1. Meditate while your coffee brews

Meditation is extremely beneficial for mental health, but it can be hard to stick with a practice. Instead of hoping to schedule extra time in your day (there’s no such thing as “extra time”), fit a few moments into the schedule you already have set. When you start your pot of coffee, spend a couple of minutes meditating while it brews. Notice the smell of coffee, think about the present moment, and simply breathe instead of rushing onto the next step. 

2. Watch your language

Even if words seem common or unimportant (“I look so bad in these jeans!” or “I don’t know if I deserve the promotion”), the way we speak to and about ourselves is how we’re training our brains to see ourselves. Even if you don’t believe it, be confident in your actions and abilities. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend (you would never think your best friend is anything but perfect, gorgeous, invincible, and badass!).

Also, work on replacing “sorry” with “thank you.” Women are taught to be polite by putting themselves down, so start expressing gratitude for patience, kindness, or assistance, rather than apologizing for being an inconvenience. 

3. Turn your shower into an experience

On the days where we’re just hoping to have time to eat three meals, a shower might be the last thing you want to do slowly, but it also might be the one chance you get to prioritize yourself that day. Instead of thinking of a shower as a chore, think of it as a relaxation practice. Turn your shower into a spa-like experience by lighting a scented candle, using the fancy soap you usually save for guests, and drying off with warm, fluffy towels. 

4. Schedule time to “goof off”

Just because you’re crushing the #adulting game by paying your taxes on time and putting together IKEA furniture by yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need “playtime” like you did when you were a kid. Give yourself a few minutes of unstructured activity multiple times throughout the day. Take a break from work to have a five-minute dance party or invest in an adult coloring book to bring out your creative side. No matter what appeals to you the most, channel your inner child to bring yourself more joy and laughter. 

5. Slow down instead of speed up

We always feel like we don’t have time. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done, and we rush through items on a long to-do list every day. We say things like “time flies” and “life goes by in the blink of an eye.” Here’s a little secret for you about time: you can actually get more by choosing to slow down. Rushing through life and thinking about the next item to check off a list instead of focusing on the present not only robs you of experiencing but gives you the illusion that you’ll never have enough time. 

The truth is that we have all the time we need (you do have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé, after all). Instead of gulping down your morning coffee, sit down and enjoy every sip. Instead of stressing about the traffic on your commute, listen to a playlist or podcast you love. It sounds counterintuitive, but slowing down stops you from feeling that time is a limited currency we’ll never have enough of. We don’t need more time; we just need to spend it better. 

6. Practice your hobby

Even if you’re lucky enough to have a dream job that makes you excited to wake up in the mornings, self-care is about finding balance. Make sure you have a passion outside of your 9 to 5 by pursuing a hobby. It could be something you love so much you want to turn it into a side-hustle, like jewelry making or photography, or it could be something you simply enjoy doing (whether or not you’d ever make money from it) like painting or cooking. 

7. Make one small change to your diet

Whether it’s drinking an extra glass of water, adding spinach to your omelet, or replacing your afternoon chips and salsa snack with carrots and guacamole, make one tiny change to your diet. Healthy eating is just a series of habits that form a domino effect. These habits snowball into a healthier lifestyle and better consciousness about what your body needs. Start small today and see how your diet changes over time. 

8. Switch up your routine

Take a different route to work, DIY a matcha latte instead of your usual cup of coffee, or wear red lipstick to work if nude lip balm is your norm. Getting out of the patterns we’re used to helps us be more mindful and present, but can also help you discover things about yourself you didn’t know before (like the fact that red lipstick gives you more confidence to crush that presentation at work). 

9. Choose who you spend your time with wisely

Today, only surround yourself with the people who exude positive energy and enthusiasm. Steer clear of the coworker who brings you down or say no to after-work drinks with the friend who makes you feel bad about yourself. If you can’t choose who you spend your time with (maybe your office is a little too small, or your roommate’s a complainer), work on becoming the person who exudes positive energy and enthusiasm. Express gratitude, give compliments, and smile often. 

How do you prioritize self-care?

SELF-SOOTHING PRACTICES Everyone Should Know

Published on by Lee4 Comments

You feel raw and emotions are running high. You’ve had a stressful week at work, an over-the-top family weekend gathering, or a falling out with a close friend. You know you need some “me time,” and that it’s clearly a moment for you to regroup. What are your go-tos to reset? Your usual Netflix binge and a tub of ice cream sounds like a slippery slope hurtling toward a shame spiral. Instead, you may want to add some new self-soothing tools to your Honor Thyself Toolbox.

Here are some ways for you to productively reclaim balance to your nervous system and practice extreme self-care for those moments in life when you need it the most.

Give Yourself a Break

If you’re in need of some self-soothing, this is certainly not the moment to take an inventory of your life and your failings. Bring yourself into soft focus by practicing an important self-soothing tool: speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion. I often say to clients, when the proverbial mess hits the fan, “How much more can you love yourself right now, in this moment?” Loving and accepting who you are is a big part of emotional intelligence, especially when you feel raw and vulnerable. And positive self-talk is a valuable skill that can be developed over time. It’s learning to speak to yourself lovingly, even when you feel down, less-than, and at odds with the world around you, and sometimes that feels counterintuitive. So, crank up the kindness and give yourself some props.

Clean and Clear

Clear your home, your heart, your body, and your intimate space:
• Sometimes putting on some music and tidying or organizing feels good to the soul! Making your sacred space beautiful can be uplifting and soothing. Lighting candles and putting flowers around your home once you’re done shifts a mood and can be deeply satisfying. Don’t forget to fire up the sage and to Palo Santo every room, releasing any old and stuck vibes lingering about. We don’t need any outside energies running interference on the home front.

• Often, we get cluttered on the inside too, and we’re in need of an inner Kondo session. You can release old, pent-up feelings by processing them through writing about what’s going on in your head, clearing away the cobwebs of heart and mind, so you can be up to speed with you.

• A purifying soak in a warm tub, with Epsom salt for 20 minutes, can literally draw toxins out of your system. Next-level self-soothing is adding baking soda and essential oils to the mix. And a “psychic shower” is always in order: when you allow the shower to pour over you while visualizing the water clearing all that you no longer need. Just imagine everything you were carrying around being blissfully washed away, spiraling down the drain, gone forevermore.

Hobby It Out

Make a list of things you can do with your hands that you’ve always wanted to, but haven’t made the time for. And then try them out. Painting, jewelry-making, vision boarding, coloring, or even cooking can get super creative. When you tap into your artistic self, the intuitive part of your brain becomes engaged and a calming sense of well-being can have its way with you. Order what you need ahead of time and store it in your closet for that rainy day. Creating itself is soothing, calming, and way more constructive than a binge-tastic Lifetime couch potato run (although that has its merits too).

The Center Is Where It’s At

The center being you, your inner core, your internal compass, your heart center—when you’re operating from the highest, best aspect of yourself. That’s your center. The goal is to live from that place in every area of life, in all circumstances. And that takes practice because it’s not our go-to. So, when we’re agitated or drained, we recalibrate, knowing nothing “out there” is going to soothe us at a soul level. Only we can do that for ourselves, by turning inward for solutions when we really want to look outside of ourselves for the quick fix. And every time we do this, we strengthen that all-important connection to ourselves, at the deepest level of being.

We can learn, over time, to lean into who we are, knowing we have our own back, we are our own best friend, and that every other relationship in our life flows from that place of self-love and true power. So, notice when you feel shaken up, and get quiet. Be with yourself, check in with yourself, and ask what you need next. Speak to yourself with kindness, the same as you would with a child you cared for deeply, who’s needing love and direction. Remind yourself that your relationship to you is the only constant there will ever be. This is the self-soothing master class: be with you, stay close to you, tune in to you, and treat yourself with all the love and respect you deserve. You’ll be amazed how this practice will radically shift your life and open you up to all good things, up-leveling you in ways you never knew were possible.

The truth is, honoring ourselves and self-soothing can mean many things to different people: taking yourself out to a wonderful dinner at your favorite restaurant, going to a day spa for pampering, sitting on a park bench watching dogs and children play with abandon, immersing yourself in a great book, meditating while listening to a great guided visualization. At the end of the day, it’s about taking time to fill up your well that’s dry—and not going to the hardware store for milk. We pause when agitated or on empty, recognize it’s time for some radical self-care, and move into gentle action around our vulnerability. Self-soothing is how we shift into alignment with who we are. And as you continue to expand your self-soothing toolbox, you will ultimately develop a deeper relationship to amazing you.