Tag: self love

9 of the Easiest Ways to Prioritize Self-Care Today

Published on by Lee5 Comments

You know you’re supposed to be practicing self-care on the regular, but how often do you say no to happy hour because you scheduled alone time after work? Do you feel guilty when you skip a workout because your body needs a break, or get caught up in finishing an episode of Riverdale (and get to bed much later than you know you need to)?

Self-care should never be an afterthought, though a modern lifestyle makes it difficult to prioritize, and makes us feel guilty when we do. However, caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s simply the most important insurance that you show up as your best self for your work, your family, and your loved ones. Therefore, self-care is not really caring for yourself if it doesn’t make you happier, calmer, and less stressed. Just because Instagram posts show face masks and hashtags them with #selfcare, doesn’t mean that’s doing anything for you (unless face masks do make you feel relaxed!). Instead, here are nine easy ways you can fit self-care into your routine today. 

1. Meditate while your coffee brews

Meditation is extremely beneficial for mental health, but it can be hard to stick with a practice. Instead of hoping to schedule extra time in your day (there’s no such thing as “extra time”), fit a few moments into the schedule you already have set. When you start your pot of coffee, spend a couple of minutes meditating while it brews. Notice the smell of coffee, think about the present moment, and simply breathe instead of rushing onto the next step. 

2. Watch your language

Even if words seem common or unimportant (“I look so bad in these jeans!” or “I don’t know if I deserve the promotion”), the way we speak to and about ourselves is how we’re training our brains to see ourselves. Even if you don’t believe it, be confident in your actions and abilities. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend (you would never think your best friend is anything but perfect, gorgeous, invincible, and badass!).

Also, work on replacing “sorry” with “thank you.” Women are taught to be polite by putting themselves down, so start expressing gratitude for patience, kindness, or assistance, rather than apologizing for being an inconvenience. 

3. Turn your shower into an experience

On the days where we’re just hoping to have time to eat three meals, a shower might be the last thing you want to do slowly, but it also might be the one chance you get to prioritize yourself that day. Instead of thinking of a shower as a chore, think of it as a relaxation practice. Turn your shower into a spa-like experience by lighting a scented candle, using the fancy soap you usually save for guests, and drying off with warm, fluffy towels. 

4. Schedule time to “goof off”

Just because you’re crushing the #adulting game by paying your taxes on time and putting together IKEA furniture by yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need “playtime” like you did when you were a kid. Give yourself a few minutes of unstructured activity multiple times throughout the day. Take a break from work to have a five-minute dance party or invest in an adult coloring book to bring out your creative side. No matter what appeals to you the most, channel your inner child to bring yourself more joy and laughter. 

5. Slow down instead of speed up

We always feel like we don’t have time. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done, and we rush through items on a long to-do list every day. We say things like “time flies” and “life goes by in the blink of an eye.” Here’s a little secret for you about time: you can actually get more by choosing to slow down. Rushing through life and thinking about the next item to check off a list instead of focusing on the present not only robs you of experiencing but gives you the illusion that you’ll never have enough time. 

The truth is that we have all the time we need (you do have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé, after all). Instead of gulping down your morning coffee, sit down and enjoy every sip. Instead of stressing about the traffic on your commute, listen to a playlist or podcast you love. It sounds counterintuitive, but slowing down stops you from feeling that time is a limited currency we’ll never have enough of. We don’t need more time; we just need to spend it better. 

6. Practice your hobby

Even if you’re lucky enough to have a dream job that makes you excited to wake up in the mornings, self-care is about finding balance. Make sure you have a passion outside of your 9 to 5 by pursuing a hobby. It could be something you love so much you want to turn it into a side-hustle, like jewelry making or photography, or it could be something you simply enjoy doing (whether or not you’d ever make money from it) like painting or cooking. 

7. Make one small change to your diet

Whether it’s drinking an extra glass of water, adding spinach to your omelet, or replacing your afternoon chips and salsa snack with carrots and guacamole, make one tiny change to your diet. Healthy eating is just a series of habits that form a domino effect. These habits snowball into a healthier lifestyle and better consciousness about what your body needs. Start small today and see how your diet changes over time. 

8. Switch up your routine

Take a different route to work, DIY a matcha latte instead of your usual cup of coffee, or wear red lipstick to work if nude lip balm is your norm. Getting out of the patterns we’re used to helps us be more mindful and present, but can also help you discover things about yourself you didn’t know before (like the fact that red lipstick gives you more confidence to crush that presentation at work). 

9. Choose who you spend your time with wisely

Today, only surround yourself with the people who exude positive energy and enthusiasm. Steer clear of the coworker who brings you down or say no to after-work drinks with the friend who makes you feel bad about yourself. If you can’t choose who you spend your time with (maybe your office is a little too small, or your roommate’s a complainer), work on becoming the person who exudes positive energy and enthusiasm. Express gratitude, give compliments, and smile often. 

How do you prioritize self-care?

SELF-LOVE: How to Increase It

Published on by Lee2 Comments

Since time immemorial, poets, gurus, and philosophers have toiled to define the most potent and indispensable word in the human language—LOVE. Some have heralded it as the force that makes the world go ’round. Others have described it in terms of the pain it can cause when it’s not returned. It’s been used to denote the feeling a parent has for their child and that a lover has for their beloved. In truth, we hear about love all the time but don’t discuss as often as we should how important SELF-LOVE is—and more importantly, how it is the foundation for a healthy life, full of self-compassion. When we can establish habits, practices, and routines of self-love, we will find ourselves to be more authentic and honest, we will tend to enforce healthy boundaries in relationships, and we will be more grateful and compassionate.

PRACTICE SELF-CARE

To begin the journey of self-love, begin by implementing healthy routines for yourself. Be consistent! Go to bed at a decent hour and get six to eight hours of sleep every night. Establish a physical commitment, like walking 30 minutes a day, signing up for a workout class three days a week, or stretching and practicing breathwork when you wake up. Go grocery shopping and make healthy food choices every Sunday for the week ahead!

Create a routine that works for you and that you will be proud of. And when your head hits the pillow every night, congratulate yourself on how you honored yourself that day, that week, and that month, and see how much better you feel.

LEARNING COMPASSION THROUGH AFFIRMATIONS

One of the best methods for silencing the negative voices in our heads is to work with affirmations, especially guided meditations that can be listened to aloud. The gentle words of a healer can land deeply within our consciousness and replace the voices of those who damaged us. Over time, we can’t help but believe the new messages we are absorbing. There are many free apps on our phones. Or go online and Google “guided meditations”—YouTube has tons, and there is plenty of literature out there you can use too!

Looking into the mirror and reciting affirmations is likewise highly effective. Making eye contact with yourself and expressing love, appreciation, and respect may strike some as corny or over the top, but if that is your reaction, perhaps it’s time to give it a try. People who love themselves unconditionally can express self-love without making a joke out of it.

TRY:
– You are strong and capable.
– You are a lovable person.
– You deserve self-care and self-respect.
– You are beautiful inside and out.
I have lists of affirmations plus more information on self-love, self-compassion, and how to create healthy habits in my book, The Rewired Life.

Another extremely useful exercise I developed to help clients is called the Compliment Log. It’s a small journal you carry with you to record every nice thing that others say about you or you catch yourself saying to yourself. Being smiled at, invited out, hugged, or otherwise included/embraced also counts. If you do this consistently, you will be amazed by the changes in your perception. Suddenly, you may find the world full of benevolence rather than hostility. You will begin to accept your own wonderfulness and own it, no longer able to deny the evidence before you, all of which is attesting to your true value.

Erica Spiegelman is a wellness specialist, recovery counselor, and author of the new book The Rewired Life (2018) as well as Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction & Recovery(2015), the Rewired Workbook (2017), the Rewired Coloring Book (2017), all published by Hatherleigh Press. Erica holds a bachelor’s degree in literature from the University of Arizona and is a California State Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor (CADAC)-II from UCLA. For more information, visit Erica’s website or follow @espiegelman on Instagram.

CALL ON THE ENERGY OF THIS SWAGGER-Y ANIMAL FOR COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE IN 2020

Published on by Lee2 Comments

We’re in for a huge dose of clarity in the new year, according to “Rock-Star Shaman” Alyson Charles. Yes, 2020 is all about clear inner vision, and Charles senses a masterful guide coming through right now to help make that vision a reality: the rooster. Consider this animal the confidence coach you’ve always dreamed of. Power moves and “I gotta be me” boldness? No time like the present.

Here we are and here we go! Not only a brand-new year but also a brand-new decade—and a newly activated energy system within us. And I’ll get right to it: It is go time for those of us here on divine assignments and Earth missions to activate and birth the New Paradigm (a new energetic time on this planet that embodies ancient truths of oneness, compassion, unconditional love, unity, and equality).

For those newer to the awakening path, you can expect an accelerated rate of understanding and internal alchemy, to see the purposes of this Earth life more clearly. You’ll also get new, bright glimpses of how your personal medicine, or your unique gifts, are here to be of service for the world.

For those who have been walking the hero’s journey for a long time, there is a deeeeep dropping-in, to feel the fullness of why we are here—deeper than ever before. At the same time, you’re being challenged to become one with massive missions and step forward with unshakable strength. We will have to be more steadfast than ever before to be leaders and stewards of where Source and Gaia (Great Mother Earth) are calling for the energies to go, in order to push the energetic parameters and grow the consciousness of the planet.

There are things you can do that will support you in being resilient and thriving in these new times, however. Keep these three things in mind:

1. Remember that no one else can tell you who you are

Change makes waves. Especially when energetic and parameter-expanding changes are happening at this magnitude, it will bring a lot up for people. Your medicine and mission may trigger others because human nature for many is to want things to stay the same, in their comfort zone or safe space. While it is very important that we operate from a place of integrity, it is vital that your truth and the knowingness of who you are and what you’re here to do remain the priority.

2. Do not let anyone shame you into playing smaller than you’re designed to

You must stay centered in your truth. Keep your head up and heart open, with your connection to Source, the Earth, and your inner wisdom strong and grounded. The more of us who stay in this powerful space, the more we can share about this space and support others in aligning with it as well, thus allowing the light and group consciousness energies to grow the way they are wanting to right now.

3. As vulnerable as it feels, evoke the courage to share your talents and stories

Remember that your worth is innate! It is not tied to how you perform, or the criticism you receive, or how many likes you get. What is vital is you being pure and true.

The other big theme for this year and beyond: showing the way to kindness, love, empathy, and compassion—while this big expansion is happening. It is imperative that we embody understanding and compassion for others’ pain or confusion. That allows us to hold the line in the high-vibration energy river and not allow the lower realm or fear-based energies to pull us down, especially while others may be triggered or may be in the first phases of “waking up.”

In summation, 2020 is about clear inner vision and knowing what you want, what you will initiate for your life, and how you are meant to be of service for the planet. Have confidence and trust that you are being divinely instructed, and you are also protected and supported in your assignment from the universe. When you choose to live your mission and and fully come into your power, that is how you are of greatest service.

2020 is about clear inner vision and knowing what you want, what you will initiate for your life, and how you are meant to be of service for the planet.

Choose yourself, instead of changing in order to get other’s approval or to make others feel comfortable. You will need to invite in and trust the next step and then the next step—without knowing where it’s all ultimately going, but having faith that you are being guided and called in each present moment. It’s all about flow, power, and trust.

Our first energetic guide for this new decade is the rooster, bringing medicines to support great confidence in sharing your uniqueness and your voice, so you can rise up and shine greater than ever before while embodying courage and kindness.

The rooster is also known to be a great protector, so call upon this divine being to really support you as you take a true, anchored stand in reaching your highest potential and truth—and doing it all with much gusto, greatness, and grace!

Alyson Charles, AKA Rock-Star Shaman, channels ancient, sacred knowledge and divine energy—in her words, “bridging wisdoms of Earth-sky for modern times”—through her work as a wellness guide to celebrities and CEOs. Charles merges her work as a conscious lifestyle expert, shaman, and international TV host with the world of media to share the most transformational products, practices, and tips to teach people how to awaken their power. 

SELF-SOOTHING PRACTICES Everyone Should Know

Published on by Lee4 Comments

You feel raw and emotions are running high. You’ve had a stressful week at work, an over-the-top family weekend gathering, or a falling out with a close friend. You know you need some “me time,” and that it’s clearly a moment for you to regroup. What are your go-tos to reset? Your usual Netflix binge and a tub of ice cream sounds like a slippery slope hurtling toward a shame spiral. Instead, you may want to add some new self-soothing tools to your Honor Thyself Toolbox.

Here are some ways for you to productively reclaim balance to your nervous system and practice extreme self-care for those moments in life when you need it the most.

Give Yourself a Break

If you’re in need of some self-soothing, this is certainly not the moment to take an inventory of your life and your failings. Bring yourself into soft focus by practicing an important self-soothing tool: speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion. I often say to clients, when the proverbial mess hits the fan, “How much more can you love yourself right now, in this moment?” Loving and accepting who you are is a big part of emotional intelligence, especially when you feel raw and vulnerable. And positive self-talk is a valuable skill that can be developed over time. It’s learning to speak to yourself lovingly, even when you feel down, less-than, and at odds with the world around you, and sometimes that feels counterintuitive. So, crank up the kindness and give yourself some props.

Clean and Clear

Clear your home, your heart, your body, and your intimate space:
• Sometimes putting on some music and tidying or organizing feels good to the soul! Making your sacred space beautiful can be uplifting and soothing. Lighting candles and putting flowers around your home once you’re done shifts a mood and can be deeply satisfying. Don’t forget to fire up the sage and to Palo Santo every room, releasing any old and stuck vibes lingering about. We don’t need any outside energies running interference on the home front.

• Often, we get cluttered on the inside too, and we’re in need of an inner Kondo session. You can release old, pent-up feelings by processing them through writing about what’s going on in your head, clearing away the cobwebs of heart and mind, so you can be up to speed with you.

• A purifying soak in a warm tub, with Epsom salt for 20 minutes, can literally draw toxins out of your system. Next-level self-soothing is adding baking soda and essential oils to the mix. And a “psychic shower” is always in order: when you allow the shower to pour over you while visualizing the water clearing all that you no longer need. Just imagine everything you were carrying around being blissfully washed away, spiraling down the drain, gone forevermore.

Hobby It Out

Make a list of things you can do with your hands that you’ve always wanted to, but haven’t made the time for. And then try them out. Painting, jewelry-making, vision boarding, coloring, or even cooking can get super creative. When you tap into your artistic self, the intuitive part of your brain becomes engaged and a calming sense of well-being can have its way with you. Order what you need ahead of time and store it in your closet for that rainy day. Creating itself is soothing, calming, and way more constructive than a binge-tastic Lifetime couch potato run (although that has its merits too).

The Center Is Where It’s At

The center being you, your inner core, your internal compass, your heart center—when you’re operating from the highest, best aspect of yourself. That’s your center. The goal is to live from that place in every area of life, in all circumstances. And that takes practice because it’s not our go-to. So, when we’re agitated or drained, we recalibrate, knowing nothing “out there” is going to soothe us at a soul level. Only we can do that for ourselves, by turning inward for solutions when we really want to look outside of ourselves for the quick fix. And every time we do this, we strengthen that all-important connection to ourselves, at the deepest level of being.

We can learn, over time, to lean into who we are, knowing we have our own back, we are our own best friend, and that every other relationship in our life flows from that place of self-love and true power. So, notice when you feel shaken up, and get quiet. Be with yourself, check in with yourself, and ask what you need next. Speak to yourself with kindness, the same as you would with a child you cared for deeply, who’s needing love and direction. Remind yourself that your relationship to you is the only constant there will ever be. This is the self-soothing master class: be with you, stay close to you, tune in to you, and treat yourself with all the love and respect you deserve. You’ll be amazed how this practice will radically shift your life and open you up to all good things, up-leveling you in ways you never knew were possible.

The truth is, honoring ourselves and self-soothing can mean many things to different people: taking yourself out to a wonderful dinner at your favorite restaurant, going to a day spa for pampering, sitting on a park bench watching dogs and children play with abandon, immersing yourself in a great book, meditating while listening to a great guided visualization. At the end of the day, it’s about taking time to fill up your well that’s dry—and not going to the hardware store for milk. We pause when agitated or on empty, recognize it’s time for some radical self-care, and move into gentle action around our vulnerability. Self-soothing is how we shift into alignment with who we are. And as you continue to expand your self-soothing toolbox, you will ultimately develop a deeper relationship to amazing you.