by SIANA LOVE in PERFORMANCE POETRY

“I am Beautiful,” took me a while to learn that.

 when she was just a little girl

Her momma would say “my baby will be the prettiest of them all”

She would smile back and proudly play with her Barbie dolls

Not knowing that soon words will get the best of me

Insults would be the only thing this proud little girl will see

Girls wouldn’t wanna play, boys wouldn’t wanna stay

And All she would have during lunchtime is a sandwich of sadness and juice box of loneliness

This little girl had to eat alone

And soon enough she had to grow up on her own

As she grew older she was taught to hate her body

Magazines were placed on the top shelf, out of her reach

She struggled and tried but no matter how close she became she could never reach the expectations

She even threw away all of her Barbie dolls

never picked one up when she went to the mall

Maybe the little girl inside didn’t critically analyze

The flat belly, small thighs

And rest of the plastic covered lies

Society’s image of beauty was mocking her daily

Until she was ashamed to look in the mirror and actually like what she would see

TV shows and movies did its best to show that girls of her size couldn’t be loved

They were always the elephant in the room Hollywood is just too small-minded, I assume

After years of self-loathing and despising the way she looked in pictures

There came a time when she started noticing other “beautiful” figures

Pretty girls aren’t just the ones wearing size 2 jeans

There the one who speak up and follow their dreams

It’s not my fault if your small mentality doesn’t go past my thighs

I’m tired of trying to get these approval highs

then in the midst of pleasing everyone’s desires

She had to set her own goals on fire

Watching Society’s flames turn her ambition into ashes

Trading her passion and drive for longer eyelashes

she’s been told that her body is a temple

a holy grail that must be kept sacred

A princess to the most High

So why does she feel so low

And I’m not here to lie and say I got it together

Some days I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror

And other days I am the next upcoming model

But I’m here to tell you that that girl is done putting herself on the bookshelf

But she is still learning how to love herself