Tag: Dating Advice

Shay Mitchell Just Dropped the Best Advice for Dealing With Relationship Anxiety

Published on by Lee1 Comment

Clingy, co-dependent, controlling? Not Shay Mitchell. We love Shay for a lot of reasons—her style, wellness routine, and travel bag brand BÉIS, to name a few—but it’s her recent advice for dealing with relationship anxiety that has made us fall in love with her even more than we ever thought was possible. In an interview that Shay did with Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast, she was asked how she can trust her longtime boyfriend and father of two kids, Matte Babel, traveling with Drake, going to parties, and being around other women while she is at home with their kids, and Shay’s honest and relatable response was so profound that the clip garnered 8.5 million views and counting on TikTok.

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Acting as a PSA to women everywhere, Shay Mitchell’s solution for dealing with relationship anxiety comes down to self-love, independence, and knowing your worth. We’re breaking down exactly how Shay implements this mindset into her own life and relationship and offering even more advice for how you can adopt it too.

What is relationship anxiety?

While it might sound self-explanatory, let’s first break down exactly what relationship anxiety is and where it stems from. According to Healthline, it refers to the feelings of worry, insecurity, and doubt that can pop up in a relationship, even if everything is going relatively well. You might wonder what your partner is doing when you’re not around, doubt their feelings for you, second guess their commitment to you and more. These feelings and thoughts usually stem from personal insecurities, past relationship experiences, attachment styles, or a lack of trust and communication.

The good news is that experiencing relationship anxiety is extremely common (even in the healthiest relationships); however, feelings of worry, insecurity, and doubt can start to make people spiral out of control, causing distress, sleepless nights, and ultimately affecting someone’s well-being as well as the well-being of their relationship. If you have ever experienced this or are experiencing it now, Shay’s advice is exactly what you need to hear.

Shay Mitchell’s advice for relationship anxiety

Let’s make one thing clear: Even though we consider Shay a total queen who can do no wrong, even she is not immune to experiencing relationship anxiety. She mentioned in the interview that she too has lost sleep worrying about her relationships in the past and that it can be hard even now because she does truly care. She goes on to say that if anything were to happen with her and her boyfriend, she would deal with it then, but for the sake of her happiness and the happiness of her partner, she says “I can’t live my life worrying about what he’s doing,” and to that, we say amen sister.

Shay adds that “when you truly love somebody, you want them to live their happiest life”—even if it’s not with you. You have to understand that you can’t control everyone around you—the only thing you can do is what’s best for you. So, if you are dealing with relationship anxiety, playing some variation of this Shay Mitchell quote in your head on repeat will help you tenfold: “If you can take him from me, then he’s yours.”

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Why this advice can help relieve relationship anxiety

One of the main reasons why Shay can confidently navigate through her relationship without relationship anxiety is because she truly does believe that what’s meant to will be. She mentioned that when she used to worry about her past relationships, it got to the point where she would have to ask herself what would happen if something went wrong. She decided that her mindset would be “I’ll be OK, I’ll keep it moving,” adding that if that’s the case, it wasn’t meant to be.

If you have an anxious attachment style, this can be a hard lesson to learn, but once you accept that sleepless nights aren’t going to change anything, you’ll be less stressed, worried, and doubtful. “We’re going to do what we’re going to do,” according to Shay, so you can’t worry about something before it happens. She added that instead of spending time worrying about our partners, we should be spending time bettering ourselves. This will allow us to feel more confident in our independence, which will in turn help us feel more confident in ourselves and whatever the outcome of our relationship is.

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How to implement Shay Mitchell’s advice in your relationship

If you are feeling like you are in a constant state of anxiety, worrying about what your partner is doing, how they feel about you, and if your relationship is going to last, Shay says that “you need to be in love with yourself more.” She added that “you shouldn’t be feeling that way in a healthy relationship, and if you are, then maybe it isn’t the right one.”

Start by accepting that whatever is going to happen will happen whether it’s for better or for worse in your relationship. You can’t drain your happiness trying to control the outcome or lose track of the valuable time that you could be focusing on yourself or spending genuine quality time with friends and family. Move forward by putting trust in your partner and truly wanting what is best for yourself and them as individuals first. That will reveal whether or not you and your partner will be together for the long haul or if there is something better waiting for both of you on the other side.

Dismissing Red Flags Ruined My Life For Years— Here’s How I Now Spot Red Flags Like a Pro:

Published on by Lee1 Comment

For years, I spent hurting in relationships, workplaces, and friendships by putting up with toxic people. It caused me a lot of pain because I felt lonely and unfulfilled. One day, I had enough and left my toxic relationship and began my healing journey. During it, I learned that toxic people all have the same traits that can be identified in the very beginning.

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Here are the 5 most comment red flags I look for:

  • Disrespect: If the other person is consistently disrespectful or inconsiderate of your feelings, boundaries, or needs, this is a red flag. This may include things like talking down to you, belittling your ideas, or ignoring your requests.
  • Dishonesty: If the other person is not being honest with you, this is a red flag. This may include things like lying, withholding information, or gaslighting (manipulating you into doubting your perception of reality).
  • Controlling behavior: If the other person is trying to control you or your actions, this is a red flag. This may include things like telling you what to wear, who to spend time with, or how to spend your money.
  • Lack of accountability: If the other person is not willing to take responsibility for their actions or their mistakes, this is a red flag. This may include things like blaming others, making excuses, or denying wrongdoing.
  • Negativity: If the other person is consistently negative or critical, this is a red flag. This may include things like complaining, blaming, or being pessimistic.

By paying attention to these red flags, you can protect yourself from unhealthy or toxic relationships, friendships, or work environments. If you notice any of these red flags, it is important to trust your instincts and take action to protect yourself.

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Why people dismiss red flags:

  1. Denial: People may ignore red flags in others because they do not want to believe that there is a problem or that something is wrong. This can be especially common when the red flags are related to difficult or unpleasant topics, such as addiction or abuse.
  2. Lack of awareness: People may not recognize red flags in others because they do not have enough information or knowledge about the situation. For example, they may not know the signs of a certain mental health condition or they may not be aware of the warning signs of a toxic relationship.
  3. Wishful thinking: People may ignore red flags in others because they are hoping that the problem will go away or that things will get better on their own. This can be especially common when the red flags are related to someone they care about, such as a friend or family member.
  4. Fear: People may ignore red flags in others because they are afraid of the consequences of acknowledging the problem or taking action. This can be especially common when the red flags are related to something intimidating or uncertain, such as a difficult conversation or a potential confrontation.
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How to recognize red flags:

  1. Pay attention to your instincts. If you have a gut feeling that something is not right in a relationship, friendship, or workplace, pay attention to this feeling. Your instincts are often based on unconscious cues and observations, and they can be a valuable source of information.
  2. Notice patterns of behavior. Look for patterns of behavior that are concerning or that do not align with your values or expectations. For example, if someone is consistently disrespectful, unreliable, or dishonest, this may be a red flag.
  3. Pay attention to how you feel. Notice how you feel when you are around the person or in the workplace. If you consistently feel anxious, uncomfortable, or drained, this may be a red flag.
  4. Look for warning signs of abuse or manipulation. Be aware of warning signs of abuse or manipulation, such as controlling behavior, jealousy, or verbal or physical aggression. If you notice these behaviors, this is a red flag and you should seek help and support.
  5. Write down what you feel. If you are unsure at the moment, write it down and check back on it later if it comes up again or ask someone what they think. This also ensures you don’t forget what you noticed.
  6. Seek advice from others. If you are unsure about whether something is a red flag, consider seeking advice from others who are close to you or who have more experience in the situation. They may be able to provide a different perspective or valuable insights.
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Red flags are warning signs that indicate potential problems or issues in a relationship, friendship, or workplace. These red flags can be subtle or overt, and they can be difficult to spot, especially if you are not looking for them. But you be cautious about protecting your energy because that is the most valuable thing you have. The people around you have a profound impact on your well-being and success.

7 THINGS You’re Probably Forgetting Before a Date

Published on by Lee1 Comment

Modern dating is one of the single people circles of hell, and this is a hill we will die on. But since it’s a thing that many people do, us included, we thought we’d try to make the process a bit better by sharing some hard-won tips. Here, are seven things you’re probably forgetting before a date.

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3 good convo starters

Statistically speaking the conversation will, at some point, peter off into an awkward silence. Have a few things at the ready to help resuscitate it. 

An easy out

In case those convo starters don’t work. Or your date brings up NFTs. 

A razor

Raise your hand if you’re part of the “decided to forgo shaving before a date as a deterrent to sleeping with said date, but it didn’t stop you and now you’re in their bathroom using a questionable razor you found on the counter as quickly as possible, so they don’t think you’re pooping” crew. (JK, but not really.)

Tell someone where you are

Because ending up on an episode of Dateline is not the endgame here. 

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A phone that’s not at 10 percent battery 

A gentle reminder to charge your phone! 

Focus on whether or not you like them

Not whether or not they like you. 

Your chill

See above tip. Also, this is especially applicable on a first date—as clichéd as it is, try not to put so much pressure on the date.

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“BLB”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Signs of  SMALL DICK ENERGY

Published on by LeeLeave a comment

Big dick energy—we all know that term (when someone’s presence just oozes with confidence). It’s hot and you either have it or you don’t. It’s not something you can fake. On the flip side, there is small dick energy (SDE). Which, yes, is the opposite: when someone acts like a tool out of insecurity issues. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having insecurities, everyone has some level of them. It’s how you carry and cope with the lack of uncertainty that can make a person fall into the SDE club.  

Small dick energy is all flex with no skill or facts to back it up. Need some examples? We’ve got you with a list of habits the BeautyLeeBar team considers to be SDE. Disclaimer: it’s not just in men, women can have this type of energy too. 

Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.

When he has to tell you how XYZ is hitting him up non-stop (insecure, much?). 

When he talks about how much he’s worth (like his bank account). “I had a guy who kept telling me he was so rich and if I dated him I’d be able to travel in style. I was like, ‘Thanks. I can also just buy my first-class ticket. Byeeee.’” – BeautyLeeBar team member 

When he talks bad about his ex (he’ll do the same to you). 

When you ask a guy a serious question about the nature or future of your relationship and he deflects/doesn’t answer (be an adult and answer). 

When he ghosts you. Someone with BDE would tell you straight up that they aren’t interested because that’s the mature thing to do. An SDE person doesn’t have the balls to say it, they simply ignore and leave you in the dust. 

When he brags about literally anything but can never back it up. 

When he’s intimidated by your job or work ethic. “I had someone tell me, ‘I typically only date girls who don’t have jobs, and I feel like you work a lot.’” – BeautyLeeBar team member 

When he’s incredibly indecisive and changes his mind all the time, including how he feels about you. Stringing you along much? We’ve got no time for that. 

When he mansplains. Enough said. 

When he’s controlling. This one screams insecure and you should run, not walk, away from this relationship/person.

When he asks the price of items on the menu at a nice restaurant. Steer clear of a pricey place if it’s not in your budget. Nothing’s sexier than owning the fact that you need to save money, and making responsible spending decisions. If you’re trying to save, pick a cool spot that’s in your budget to avoid feeling uncomfortable and nervous about the bill.

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The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that BeautyLeeBar, LLC (“Hello Beauties”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. You understand and agree that BeautyLeeBar shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

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