Dirty minds, Beauties. You thought this was going to be all about using your tongue during oral. Not so much. This steamy piece is actually on how to enhance foreplay and pleasure with your tongue. It’s sensual, it’s sexual, and it’s all about embracing the sexy side of self-care. Let’s get into the ways you can la-la-lick your way to seductive satisfaction.
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Using your tongue to turn things up sounds X-rated, but there are tasteful tricks that come off as very sensual over anything. How do you ask? Keep reading to find out.
Since we know you have all been practicing your myofunctional therapy exercises because that is all that you guys have been asking us to write about, put them to good use by flexing your tongue muscles when you’re with your partner.
OK, OK, here are the sexy moves to add to your next intimate evening.
Flick your partner’s ears and nipples with your tongue. While you’re teasing the ear area, softly breathe into their ear. This is sure to send chills down their body.
Outline their nipple—you can even gently bite for extra steam.
Lick up and down the chest and sprinkle in some kisses to give your partner butterflies.
This one is fire: slowly inch up the leg with your tongue, pausing for a bit, and then get close to the inner thigh. Talk about teasing.
Don’t forget the back. You can start with a shoulder rub with your body positioned super close to the other person, and then begin licking the back and up the neck and end with a little ear nibble.
While you’re sitting on the couch watching TV, nonchalantly start licking your finger and playing with your bottom lip. It’ll excite your partner and make them think “what oh what is going on in her head?”
Never underestimate the fun of incorporating sweets in the bedroom. Caramel, whipped cream—whatever fancies your taste buds.
When we speak about intimacy, our minds tend to go directly to “sexual” intimacy. However, intimacy goes beyond the bedroom. There is more to intimacy than just sex and getting frisky. It’s connecting on the deepest level emotionally, vulnerably, energetically, and spiritually to others—not just a partner but friends, family, or someone else in your life.
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Some forms of non-sexual intimacy are:
Listening: One of our deepest needs and desires is to be heard. When a friend or your partner listens to you (truly listens!), they are:
· Investing in what you’re saying
· Showing they want to connect
· Interested in what you have to say
· Care about how you feel
When a person truly listens, they don’t seek distractions (e.g., sneaking a look at their phone). A person who is truly listening will have constant eye contact with you and hear without the need to interrupt or redirect the conversation. Listening is intimate and it is sexy (even if it’s in a platonic way).
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Compliments/Words of affirmation: Everyone loves to be complimented, and our serotonin skyrockets when we receive compliments or words of flattery. Compliments and words of affirmation let us feel worthy and good about ourselves. This feeling creates an intimacy between the person giving the compliment and the person receiving it.
Gift giving: It’s not necessarily about the gift. It’s about the fact that someone has thought about giving you a gift and take the time and energy to consider what the recipient would appreciate. Many of us have received gifts that are not quite up our alley (maybe a pair of dollar-store socks?). When we realize that the giver put thought into gifting us, even if it wasn’t something we liked, it creates deep intimacy and connection. Why? Because being thought of feels amazing, even if the gift itself isn’t the greatest.
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Laughter, goofing around, and inside jokes: Laughter is incredible medicine for the soul. When we laugh with our friends, partners, or loved ones; when we play and goof around, drop the seriousness, and share inside jokes, intimacy is born. Life can be too heavy and serious sometimes but sharing laughter with loved ones or friends and having playful and silly moments infuses your connection with lightness and creates intimacy.
Sharing mutual interests: Sharing interests, or displaying an interest in what someone is reading, watching, doing, or listening to and how they feel about that interest, strengthens an intimate bond. Even if your interests are not necessarily shared, ask questions and show them that you’re interested in their interests because of how you feel about that person. Speak with your friends, your family, or your partner about their favorite music at the moment, the book they are reading, or the podcast they are listening to. Show an interest in their interests and you may surprise yourself and discover something you had not even thought to be interested in before!
Affection: Hugging and nonsexual physical touch increase serotonin, a neurotransmitter known as the “feel good” hormone. Serotonin helps us feel happy, calm, and confident, which in turn allows intimacy to deepen. Hugging and other forms of nonsexual touching also cause your brain to release oxytocin, which is also known as the “bonding hormone.” Bonding is intimacy. Whether you’re hugging a friend, a romantic interest, or a partner, know that it is boosting your intimacy within the connection.
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Quiet time: Believe it or not, just sitting in a pause between conversations with a friend or loved one is intimacy. Just being present in each other’s company without having to fill the silence shows that you are connected on a level that goes beyond words. Sitting in the silence of each other’s presence is true intimacy.
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Whether you watch The Kardashians or you’re one of her 261 million IG followers, you know Kendall Jenner is no stranger to the spotlight but also to the wellness scene. IV therapy, cold plunges, meditation sound bowls, and journaling are a few wellness practices she religiously stands by. If that doesn’t convince you of her self-proclaimed health obsession, her state-of-the-art room dedicated to all thing’s wellness will. Complete with a hyperbaric chamber, red light therapy bed, and oxygen therapy machine, it’s every wellness girl’s dream (major envy). Gadgets and gizmos aside, Kendall has open dialogues with the media and on social media about her mental health and struggles with anxiety.
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Thanks to her recent interview with Jay Shetty on his podcast, On Purpose with Jay Shetty, we got the 411 on her self-work and steadfast wellness rituals. Read on for how she stays in tune with her highest self. Spoiler alert: They are practices you will not find on Hulu or Instagram, and we can all benefit from them.
In Kendall’s work with her therapist, she focuses on living in her higher goddess, AKA her higher self. What does that look like? Words of affirmation, reassuring yourself of who you are, and recognizing everything else is just noise. “Sometimes it feels weird to say good things about yourself, but I’ve also learned a lot about talking to myself and a lot about looking in the mirror and being like, ‘You’re great. You’re gorgeous. You’re amazing. You’re loyal. You’re positive.’”
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Admittedly, Kendall falls victim to false narratives. Like us all, she has moments she struggles to stay true to who she is and her purpose. “If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you’re at [the] mercy of things that you can’t control,” she stated. Kendall emphasized holding your happiness and not letting anyone else affect it. If you know yourself and the people important in your life know your true self, nothing else should matter. When Shetty asked Kendall, “What’s something you used to value but you don’t value anymore?” Her answer? Validation.
Set aside alone time
It’s no secret that Kendall is surrounded by a large family and famous friends (hey, Hailey Bieber) in addition to her entourage. But she told Shetty that since she was a kid, the Scorpio in her enjoyed being by herself. “I went through a phase where I felt like I had to be around people,” shared Kendall. “I think I live a very social life, and my job is very social, so I was kind of conditioned to want to be around people a lot. And then, as the pandemic came around, you’re not around as many people anymore. Now I’m just re-enjoying being by myself, which is cool.”
At the end of the day, Kendall craves a simple routine. Her perfect day consists of riding her horses, taking a cold plunge, laying out, and journaling. Taking a cue from Kendall, give yourself space and step away when needed. Additionally, be comfortable in your own company. Sometimes the best remedy for a bad day is journaling (yes, it bears repeating), taking a solo walk outside, meditating, or picking up a new hobby.
Let’s face it: We all experience burnout, celeb or not. Kendall expressed there was a long period she was overworked, felt overwhelmed, and said “yes” to every opportunity—to the point where she was unhappy (anyone else relates?). Eventually, she learned to prioritize herself. She realized her well-being was necessary to show up better in her personal and professional life. So, she took a step back in her career to reconnect with her higher self: “I got to that point, and I just knew I had to do it…” Kendall explained. “It was just such an unbelievable sensation that I had where I knew that if I do this, I’m going to be better for everyone. And I’m going to be better for myself, which means I’m going to be better for the people around me.”
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Learn to recognize the signs of burnout (think: fatigue, feeling apathetic with your work, changes to your sleep patterns). Then, enforce work-life boundaries to care for your mental health and restore a healthy balance. Maybe that means being upfront and communicating with your boss or taking time off. Or, it’s just saying “no” to taking on more projects or a meeting invite scheduled during your lunch break. Ultimately, your mental and physical health should be your number one priority (I know that’s sometimes easier said than done).
Stay grounded in your relationships
When it comes to her family and friends, Kendall told Shetty that honesty and communication are her core values in maintaining healthy relationships. “I find it important to not feel like you’re on top of each other when you have your family around or your friends around,” she said. “It’s OK to sometimes, even if you’re at a family dinner, run to the bathroom and just being like, ‘Let me just take a couple of breaths because this is getting overwhelming.’”
Kendall shared that she’s prone to anxiety and can take things too seriously. When she feels inundated with family circumstances or stress, she recognizes her feelings: “I’m allowed to feel this way; it’s valid. I’m just going to take a deep breath, and I’m not going to react, and then I’m going to go back out there, and I’m going to be fine.” Try being in Kendall’s shoes (wouldn’t that be fun?) and pause whenever you feel overwhelmed. Give yourself a safe space to express your feelings through journaling, speaking to a mental health professional, or practicing deep breathing.
After coming across a viral TikTok trend encouraging viewers to stop negative self-talk by picturing their younger selves, Kendall’s therapist suggested she put a spin on it and find a photo of herself as a child to put on her bathroom mirror. Take a glance at her Instagram, and you’ll see the Polaroid of young Kendall. It serves as a daily reminder that anything negative that she says about herself, she’s saying to that beaming, hair bow-wearing younger version of herself. “If I’m ever looking in the mirror and being negative toward myself, I always look right over to her, and I’m like, ‘She’s dope, and I love her,’” Kendall laughed.
Bottom line: Practice self-love and find tactics that work for you. If you’re not sure where to start, try exercising mindfulness, putting yourself and your needs first, or simply making yourself a healthy meal. Regardless of your method, keep being kind to yourself, just as you would your 5-year-old self or BFF.
At BeautyLeeBar, we love seasonal cocktails. Sometimes it’s more involved than others, but this round, we are keeping it easy as pie—minus all of the sweetness, because there’s an actual pie for that. Our friend over at Meatless Makeovers’ go-to martini is our pick this season because we are feeling caper berries right now! Imagine a regular caper on steroids. Caper berries are bigger than a caper, meaty, tender, and briny, much like olives. They come on a stem, so there’s no toothpick necessary.
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This cocktail makes an excellent aperitif or digestif for all the rich and hearty seasonal foods this time of year. Who doesn’t want a little savory sip to prep the palate or aid in digestion? Get the recipe below:
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Caper Berry Gin Bohemian Martini
RECIPE TYPE: Cocktail
INGREDIENTS:
2 1/2 ounces quality gin or vodka –This tasteless spirit lends itself perfectly to the tangy brine.
1/2-ounce dry vermouth –The subtle flavors in dry vermouth smooth out the kick from the vodka, making you go for sip after sip.
1/2-ounce caper berry brine (straight from the jar they come in) – Bright and salty; is lighter than olive brine and makes this drink easy to drink.
2 caperberries to garnish or more if you feel spicy – Salty with a nice crunch, garnishing with a caperberry or two adds a little surprise at the end.
INSTRUCTIONS:
Add all the ingredients, EXCEPT the garnish, to a shaker with a generous amount of ice (or stir in a glass full of ice, if that’s your thing).
Shake, shake, shake it up (or stir) for 30-60 seconds.
Filter out the ice and pour the liquid into your festive vessel of choice.
Top with a couple of caper berries, sip and relax.
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Show us how you recreate (or modify) this delicious recipe and use hashtag #beautyleebarpalate for a chance to be featured on our social.
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